If you have ever read The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, by Mark Twain, you are sure to remember a couple of characters that crossed Huck’s path by the names of the Duke of Bridgewater and King Looy the Seventeenth of France. They were a pair of scoundrels if ever Mark Twain wrote of any. At one point in their time with Huck, they decided to put on a production of The King’s Camelopard or The Royal Nonesuch. The second title better fit the so called Tragedy as the scene played out in this manner:
“he rolled up the curtain, and the next minute the king come a-prancing out on all fours, naked; and he was painted all over, ring-streaked-and-striped, all sorts of colors, as splendid as a rainbow.”
The production was a scam which went very bad on the next night.
You might also remember the scene from the movie Mr. Mom in which the housewives basically shanghai Michael Keaton and take him to a strip club featuring male strippers.
These two references may appear to the casual reader to be totally random and unrelated, but I assure you they are quite relevant to the setting in which I found myself last night.
The teachers and staff at the elementary school where my wife works decided to go en masse to a play at a small theater in a nearby small town. The play featured two actors in The Mystery of Irma Vep, by Penny Dreadful. The main reason they wanted to go is that one of the two actors is a teacher in their school.
The Mystery of Irma Vep has approximately half a dozen characters, male and female, which are all played rather flamboyantly by the two male actors. The over-endowed female characters wear extravagant drag outfits which in some cases would put The Bird Cage actors to shame.
The plot entails werewolves, vampires, mummies and a great deal of confusion, but as the Duke and the King of Huckleberry Finn’s experience, there is a great deal of humor. I would not accuse them of overacting. I would never do that. I wouldn’t have to even mention it for anyone who saw the play. Let’s just say that Jim Carrey and Chevy Chase might have felt like amateurs in comparison to the actors of The Mystery of Irma Vep.
If the acting on stage has been adequately portrayed here by me, then you might be able to also picture the antics of the teachers and staff. The second reference from Mr. Mom would most accurately describe the audience around me at the play. The only exception would be that no one stuffed dollar bills down the entertainer’s clothing...at least, not that I saw. Feet stamped on the floor, raucous laughter, cat whistles, yelled comments and rolling in the aisle was the norm, and that was just my wife on one side of me and a friend on the other.
We started the evening by driving 45 miles to a small restaurant to eat dinner. We brought somewhere between 25 and 40 people to the town for dinner and the play. I ordered a banana milk shake to go with my bacon cheeseburger and onion rings. My wife had at least half of my milk shake after tasting how good it was. When the play was over we returned to the drive in, but they had shut down their milk shake ice cream machine. We found a Sonic drive in that was still open and got a few milk shakes there then undertook our return journey of 45 miles home arriving at about 10:30pm.
All in all it was an interesting day to say the least. I know all my female relatives and readers would have enjoyed the evening. Just like most of you think Julia Roberts is the most beautiful actress and love chocolate.
‘Nuff said,
Twist
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Field Day
Today was Field Day for Texas Army MARS. That stands for Military Auxillary Radio System. This was also our Ward/Stake Preparedness Fair Day. Originally I was supposted to set up a display of my 72 hour kit. Unfortunately, the other 2 people doing the same thing took up all the table space.
I decided just to kill two birds with one stone (not the two who used up the tables) and I set up another table with my ham radio equipment. My friend and Zone Coordinator, Ted, joined me while we tried different cables and antennas to talk to people several hundred miles away...or not. We contacted the others during one hour, then couldn't raise anyone till the Field Day was over, at which point we joined a long distance ham radio net (chat). I used a weighted tennis ball on a rope to put our antenna up to the tops of the parking lot lights.
All in all it was an interesting day. Technolog is amazing, even if it's old.
Twist, N50GY ham license
Thursday, March 18, 2010
The Next Samurai
I like to read books. Not like my wife, who reads several books a month, but I still like to read. I like to take my time reading a book to savor it, live in its pages as long as I can. A good author makes me remember experiences I have had and makes me feel as if I am experiencing something I never have before.
When I read a good book I feel the cool, oozing river mud between my toes and practically choke on the foul smell of decay that rises from the brackish slime. When a wizard sends forth a spell from his wand, staff or hand the hair on my head and arms stands on end from the sheer power passing by and my teeth vibrate as the power impacts with its prey.
Many authors satisfy my literary tastes, though I prefer fantasy with magic, swords and mythical creatures, I also delight to read science fiction with its tantalizing view of the world that is about to materialize in a not so distant future.
A friend of mine loaned me a book that does not fit any of these categories, nor does it satisfy the literary taste buds, but it did give me so much to consider that I find myself reading, re-reading, highlighting text and then pondering its applications. While this appears to be a reading ritual you would undertake with the scriptures in hand, the actual book is far from the divine word.
A Book of Five Rings, written by Miyamoto Musashi, is basically a how to book for the Samurai warrior. The chapters entail lessons on how to fight and defeat your enemy. Having said this, most every Japanese businessman has a copy of this book that he keeps with him and studies.
One of the first pearls of wisdom offered is this: Carry a long sword to fight enemies, but also carry a companion sword (short sword) for when the fighting gets up close and personal.
As I have read through the book I can see applications to life in many of the techniques taught for sword fighting. There are many parallels that can be drawn from these examples that can be effective in all aspects of life, but especially in business.
The automobile industry and others have often wondered how the Japanese operate so well. Maybe the CEOs of those and other companies should get a copy of A Book of Five Rings and do a little studying of their own.
Twist
When I read a good book I feel the cool, oozing river mud between my toes and practically choke on the foul smell of decay that rises from the brackish slime. When a wizard sends forth a spell from his wand, staff or hand the hair on my head and arms stands on end from the sheer power passing by and my teeth vibrate as the power impacts with its prey.
Many authors satisfy my literary tastes, though I prefer fantasy with magic, swords and mythical creatures, I also delight to read science fiction with its tantalizing view of the world that is about to materialize in a not so distant future.
A friend of mine loaned me a book that does not fit any of these categories, nor does it satisfy the literary taste buds, but it did give me so much to consider that I find myself reading, re-reading, highlighting text and then pondering its applications. While this appears to be a reading ritual you would undertake with the scriptures in hand, the actual book is far from the divine word.
A Book of Five Rings, written by Miyamoto Musashi, is basically a how to book for the Samurai warrior. The chapters entail lessons on how to fight and defeat your enemy. Having said this, most every Japanese businessman has a copy of this book that he keeps with him and studies.
One of the first pearls of wisdom offered is this: Carry a long sword to fight enemies, but also carry a companion sword (short sword) for when the fighting gets up close and personal.
As I have read through the book I can see applications to life in many of the techniques taught for sword fighting. There are many parallels that can be drawn from these examples that can be effective in all aspects of life, but especially in business.
The automobile industry and others have often wondered how the Japanese operate so well. Maybe the CEOs of those and other companies should get a copy of A Book of Five Rings and do a little studying of their own.
Twist
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
The Rules of Jason Bourne
I just finished reading the 3 books in the Bourne series by Robert Ludlum, then watched the movies. The movies are only vaguely based on the books, but still fun to watch. Throughou the series, Jason Bourne repeats to himself and tells others his basic rules of being a spy. I thought the rules applied to other areas, so I compiled a list. Here is what I noted down:
1. You are not helpless. You will find your way
2. Instinct. Follow your instincts, reasonably, of course
3. Don’t crucify yourself
4. Nothing can be disregarded
5. To blend in, change your appearance, your hair your face.
6. Read the newspapers every day.
7. Stay controlled.
8. The success of any trap lies in its fundamental simplicity.
The reverse trap by the nature of its single complication must be swift and simpler still.
9. Use an advantage given to you.
10. Do the unexpected. Confuse the enemy, throw him off balance.
11. Don’t run. Running identifies you as a target.
12. Opportunities will present themselves. Recognize them, act on them.
13. Don’t make your moves when you’re tired or exhausted. Rest is a weapon. Use it. Don’t forget it.
14. Work on the visual. It’s more effective than anything else. People will draw the conclusions you want on the basis of what they see far more than from the most convincing lies you can tell them.
15. Study everything. You’ll find something you can use.
16. The cleanest escape is one done in stages, using whatever confusion there is.
17. Establish a benign contact as soon as you can. Especially in an unfamiliar face where there could be hostility. The contact could give you the opportunity or the time you need.
18. Avoid elevators whenever you can. They’re traps.
19. Your first reflections are the best, the most accurate, because the impressions are stored in your head, like the information in a data bank. That’s what your head is.
If you noticed any rules I missed, let me know.
Twist
1. You are not helpless. You will find your way
2. Instinct. Follow your instincts, reasonably, of course
3. Don’t crucify yourself
4. Nothing can be disregarded
5. To blend in, change your appearance, your hair your face.
6. Read the newspapers every day.
7. Stay controlled.
8. The success of any trap lies in its fundamental simplicity.
The reverse trap by the nature of its single complication must be swift and simpler still.
9. Use an advantage given to you.
10. Do the unexpected. Confuse the enemy, throw him off balance.
11. Don’t run. Running identifies you as a target.
12. Opportunities will present themselves. Recognize them, act on them.
13. Don’t make your moves when you’re tired or exhausted. Rest is a weapon. Use it. Don’t forget it.
14. Work on the visual. It’s more effective than anything else. People will draw the conclusions you want on the basis of what they see far more than from the most convincing lies you can tell them.
15. Study everything. You’ll find something you can use.
16. The cleanest escape is one done in stages, using whatever confusion there is.
17. Establish a benign contact as soon as you can. Especially in an unfamiliar face where there could be hostility. The contact could give you the opportunity or the time you need.
18. Avoid elevators whenever you can. They’re traps.
19. Your first reflections are the best, the most accurate, because the impressions are stored in your head, like the information in a data bank. That’s what your head is.
If you noticed any rules I missed, let me know.
Twist
Monday, February 22, 2010
A Day in the Life
I don’t lead a boring life, not really. I’m not a creature of habit either. I prefer to think that I have a structured, organized life. Some of my time is scheduled for me by others, some things just seem to happen randomly..on a daily basis.
I start my day by hitting the snooze alarm at 5:30am. I hit the snooze because my wife does not want to wake up at 5:30am, but she does want the alarm to go off at 5:30am. At 5:37am I hit the button on the alarm clock again and nudge my wife to get up because she doesn’t always hear the alarm the second time. She usually doesn’t hear it the first time either. At that point I switch the alarm to the dual setting which will go off at 6:10am and I go back to sleep.
At 6:10am I hit the alarm again and get up. As I get up and turn on the closet light to get dressed, I seem to hear 3 little muffled voices coming from the dogs that appear to say, “Turn out that light...” at which point the dogs continue not moving and go back to sleep. I dress, hoping my shoes and socks match then go into the living room where we say prayer and then I take my son to seminary, picking up two boys on the way. I then return home and get in the hot tub for a few minutes.
My wife leaves about 7:00am to go to school too early for a job that doesn’t pay her anywhere near what she’s worth. M-W-F my daughter sleeps in until almost noon then goes to work. T-Th she also leaves at 7:00am for college. The dogs and I have a peaceful morning. I start mine by reading scriptures. I’m on a long term project reading the Bible in Spanish. I’m almost done with the Old Testament.
At 8:00am I try to join a radio net, like a chat room on the ham radio, for Texas Army Mars. This is an auxiliary of the Texas State Guard that assists in emergency communications in times of disaster or military emergency. There are usually about a dozen of us around the state who talk together, but the network includes over a hundred other ham radio operators. The net lasts an hour.
At 9:00am I either start errands, chores or watch TV, you can guess what the default activity is. In the last year I worked through all 10 seasons of Stargate SG-1. While watching anything I go through jobsites online. I have come to understand the statement of a middle aged bachelor friend of ours from Omaha who said, “As I get older I find I get more particular and less desirable.” There are ruts that form while looking for work. Those ruts usually keep the search from veering in different directions. I firmly believe I need to be looking for work somewhere different, but I seem to have settled into believing THE job is at one of the companies I look check out daily.
Sometimes I run errand for and with a handicapped friend. He can no longer get either himself or his wheelchair in and out of his vehicle without help. At 12:40pm I pick up my son from school and we go home for lunch. If my friend and I go to lunch, we are gone a couple of hours, otherwise my son and I eat then watch a movie. We do things outside if the weather is good. I’ve kayaked, fished and done yard work, depending on the mood.
My underpaid wife gets home any time from 4:00pm to 6:30pm, depending on how the school decides to use her time. We then eat dinner with up to 11 of our children and grandkids depending on what we are having and who is available. Evening activities depend on whether we need to go to the store or not. If not, we watch something. If we need to go to the store, we may record something.
Around 10:00pm we read scriptures together as a family, say prayers and share hugs. If we are awake enough we hot tub before bed, then start the routine all over again.
I’d write some more about extracurricular activities, but it’s time to go pick up my son. I actually have an alarm on my watch for that.
Twist
I start my day by hitting the snooze alarm at 5:30am. I hit the snooze because my wife does not want to wake up at 5:30am, but she does want the alarm to go off at 5:30am. At 5:37am I hit the button on the alarm clock again and nudge my wife to get up because she doesn’t always hear the alarm the second time. She usually doesn’t hear it the first time either. At that point I switch the alarm to the dual setting which will go off at 6:10am and I go back to sleep.
At 6:10am I hit the alarm again and get up. As I get up and turn on the closet light to get dressed, I seem to hear 3 little muffled voices coming from the dogs that appear to say, “Turn out that light...” at which point the dogs continue not moving and go back to sleep. I dress, hoping my shoes and socks match then go into the living room where we say prayer and then I take my son to seminary, picking up two boys on the way. I then return home and get in the hot tub for a few minutes.
My wife leaves about 7:00am to go to school too early for a job that doesn’t pay her anywhere near what she’s worth. M-W-F my daughter sleeps in until almost noon then goes to work. T-Th she also leaves at 7:00am for college. The dogs and I have a peaceful morning. I start mine by reading scriptures. I’m on a long term project reading the Bible in Spanish. I’m almost done with the Old Testament.
At 8:00am I try to join a radio net, like a chat room on the ham radio, for Texas Army Mars. This is an auxiliary of the Texas State Guard that assists in emergency communications in times of disaster or military emergency. There are usually about a dozen of us around the state who talk together, but the network includes over a hundred other ham radio operators. The net lasts an hour.
At 9:00am I either start errands, chores or watch TV, you can guess what the default activity is. In the last year I worked through all 10 seasons of Stargate SG-1. While watching anything I go through jobsites online. I have come to understand the statement of a middle aged bachelor friend of ours from Omaha who said, “As I get older I find I get more particular and less desirable.” There are ruts that form while looking for work. Those ruts usually keep the search from veering in different directions. I firmly believe I need to be looking for work somewhere different, but I seem to have settled into believing THE job is at one of the companies I look check out daily.
Sometimes I run errand for and with a handicapped friend. He can no longer get either himself or his wheelchair in and out of his vehicle without help. At 12:40pm I pick up my son from school and we go home for lunch. If my friend and I go to lunch, we are gone a couple of hours, otherwise my son and I eat then watch a movie. We do things outside if the weather is good. I’ve kayaked, fished and done yard work, depending on the mood.
My underpaid wife gets home any time from 4:00pm to 6:30pm, depending on how the school decides to use her time. We then eat dinner with up to 11 of our children and grandkids depending on what we are having and who is available. Evening activities depend on whether we need to go to the store or not. If not, we watch something. If we need to go to the store, we may record something.
Around 10:00pm we read scriptures together as a family, say prayers and share hugs. If we are awake enough we hot tub before bed, then start the routine all over again.
I’d write some more about extracurricular activities, but it’s time to go pick up my son. I actually have an alarm on my watch for that.
Twist
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Winter Fun
Just thought I'd post of few pictures I took in our backyard today. We had quite an intense winter storm. It start by dropping over an inch of freezing rain then changing to snow with over 4 inches so far. (Don't laugh you mountain folks.) That was too much temptation and we all hopped in the hot tub. The water is about to overflow because my youngest son ducked under the water just before the camera snapped the pictures.
I had to include a couple of pictures of our Ent tree faces. We thought they it was funny, but it turns out it'snot. Ok, really it is funny and they are just icicles.
PS, my son and I did snow angels then popped back in the tub.
Twist
Monday, January 25, 2010
More Canes
My wife and I have been married almost 30 years now. Shortly after we married her grandmother moved from a house to a one room apartment. She either gave away or sold a house full of belongings that had accumulated over many years. One of the things that she gave us was a pair of crystal door knobs.
I've thought for all those years about what to do with them and for most of that time wanted to make a couple of canes. I finally broke down the other day and got energetic. I took an old tool handle, cut it and stained it, then got a piece of copper pipe fitting. I put it all together and the results were pretty nice. I think I still need to add a coat or two of varnish, but right now it's more or less finished. I like how it turned out.
I don't need to use it, but might just to be fashionable.
Twist
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