Saturday, February 18, 2012

I'm a Survivor

I’m a Survivor

I’ve been a fan of the Survivor TV show for years. I missed the very first season as I thought it would be another “Big Brother” or some such reality show. I didn’t realize how awesome the show was that season. I guess the buzz and hype caught my attention, because I’ve never missed another episode.

Throughout the years we’ve had our favorites in every season, some more memorable than others. We have hated some players, loved planned by the directors, in general. On every season I wonder why the tribe members starve themselves so much instead of spending most of their waking hours looking for food.

I have applied to be on Survivor 3 or 4 times...I lost track. I know the first application was on a VHS tape, while the rest were uploaded videos. I can’t help but think they actually may have called for me, but as I ignore unknown, unidentified incoming phone calls, I may never know.

While preparing for a possible season in Samoa, I studied the local flora and fauna for food sources, including sea plants and fish species. I was vindicated in my research as Rob made fire using a fire saw, the method I determined to be the most effective and easiest to use for Samoa.

Effective January first I began a new career, after a 3 year stretch of retirement from a prior employer. When I next retire, I’ll draw on 2 retirement systems and, if it’s still around, the Social Security system. While I won’t make a million dollars using any combination of my income, I will have a steady income which will prepare me financially for the rest of my life...exactly what I had hoped for on Survivor.

I won’t have time again to take off the required 6 weeks to be on Survivor again, so I won’t be applying again, sorry, Jeff. I think I would have been an awesome player. I think I would have been one of the few to gain weight on the Survivor diet, but I guess it was not meant to be.

Um, Jeff, only kidding. Feel free to call me anytime. I’ll work something out with the boss...