My son's girlfriend has not had a very good relationship with her mother for most of her life. Her parents are divorced, mainly due to her mother's lifestyle. They have never been close. On the contrary, she has suffered constant criticisms, unfair treatment and been on the unreceiving end of favoritism among her siblings. My wife has been more of a mother in the past couple of years.
About a week ago, T___'s mother invited her to go out for lunch with her. It was a very cordial, even enjoyable time. During they lunch, her mother broke the news that she has spots on her lungs, very definitely cancer, and her remaining kidney has ceased functioning. The prognosis is pretty certain as to the outcome, just not any specific time. She's not looking for a kidney donor, for those who might suspect the worst, like me.
I said, "T____, do you think she is facing eternity and has decided to atone for past misdeeds, attempt to have the relationship you should have had?
T___, "Yes, I think she's sincere in trying to make amends."
Perhaps the past twenty years can never be erased, but perhaps if the next indeterminate number of months are what they should be, that will be the memory she has of her mother after she is gone.
Maybe we ought to treat everyone as if we are leaving soon....just in case.
Twist
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Monday, August 6, 2007
Family Reunion
I just returned from our annual family reunion. We did the traditional things..for our family. We camped in tents around the house, got rained on, shopped at the Indian store and visited a lot.
All of my siblings were there and many of the nieces and nephews. I really missed seing those that weren't. Many were unable to come for a variety of reasons including illness, pregnancy, money and distance. Some don't come because they don't like the "advice" they are given. Come to think of it, some that did come don't like the "advice" they get, but we all enjoy just being together.
We went fishing some, but the rain, though much needed, put quite a damper on that activity, so we did the most what we do the best..we sat around and visited. I really enjoy that more than almost anything else we do. I have promised myself that next year I am bringing a digital recorder to make sure I don't miss anything. My mother told me several stories about ancestors that I'm not sure are written down somewhere. Then again, even if they are written down, I'm not sure I could find where.
We even got Dad to talk a tiny bit about his family. I badger him each year to write as much as he can about his parents, grandparents, etc. He says he will, but I have as yet to see it done.
With all the visiting, hugging, laughing and such that we did, we are all a little closer together. The family stories bring those to the circle who aren't around anymore except in spirit. To me that is the whole reason to have these reunions.
I can't wait till next year.
Twist
All of my siblings were there and many of the nieces and nephews. I really missed seing those that weren't. Many were unable to come for a variety of reasons including illness, pregnancy, money and distance. Some don't come because they don't like the "advice" they are given. Come to think of it, some that did come don't like the "advice" they get, but we all enjoy just being together.
We went fishing some, but the rain, though much needed, put quite a damper on that activity, so we did the most what we do the best..we sat around and visited. I really enjoy that more than almost anything else we do. I have promised myself that next year I am bringing a digital recorder to make sure I don't miss anything. My mother told me several stories about ancestors that I'm not sure are written down somewhere. Then again, even if they are written down, I'm not sure I could find where.
We even got Dad to talk a tiny bit about his family. I badger him each year to write as much as he can about his parents, grandparents, etc. He says he will, but I have as yet to see it done.
With all the visiting, hugging, laughing and such that we did, we are all a little closer together. The family stories bring those to the circle who aren't around anymore except in spirit. To me that is the whole reason to have these reunions.
I can't wait till next year.
Twist
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Honeymoon in June
Actually, this could more accurately be titled Second Honeymoon in June. My wife and I celebrated our twenty seventh anniversary this week. I had a training class scheduled in Austin all week for work. By driving to class, we decided that both my wife and I could go together.
The extra company made for a much more enjoyable week for me than normal at class. My wife stayed at the hotel during the day and we ate lunches together, then after class we were free to set out on a new adventure every evening. We ate at our favorite restaurants, walked all over the capitol and saw the sights. We watched the bats fly out from under the bridge two different nights, once from the grassy bank and once as we took a tour boat on the lake for nearly two hours.
I walked two miles every day going to class and back. Monday night we walked around downtown, to the lake, to dinner and back to the motel again for a total of at least five miles. Finally we returned home Friday to find everything and everyone in satisfactory condition, none the worse for the wear.
The last time we went to Austin together our youngest son was less than a year old. Maybe we'll take another excursion before another fourteen years go by.
Twist
The extra company made for a much more enjoyable week for me than normal at class. My wife stayed at the hotel during the day and we ate lunches together, then after class we were free to set out on a new adventure every evening. We ate at our favorite restaurants, walked all over the capitol and saw the sights. We watched the bats fly out from under the bridge two different nights, once from the grassy bank and once as we took a tour boat on the lake for nearly two hours.
I walked two miles every day going to class and back. Monday night we walked around downtown, to the lake, to dinner and back to the motel again for a total of at least five miles. Finally we returned home Friday to find everything and everyone in satisfactory condition, none the worse for the wear.
The last time we went to Austin together our youngest son was less than a year old. Maybe we'll take another excursion before another fourteen years go by.
Twist
Saturday, June 9, 2007
Vision of the Future
In keeping with my last entry, I thought I would reveal the insights I've received about the future. Before anyone assume there was a dream, trance or visitation involved, this vision was merely a glimpse of the present as it will be in a few short years.
My oldest daughter has been married now for 5 years and has two children. They live 15 minutes across town, a distance sufficient to enable both parent and child to feel independance.
Although my oldest son still currently resides in a small corner of our house, he seldom occupies that space. Work, girlfriend, work and fishing keep his room vacant and quiet, if not clean. He comes in late and sleeps amidst the clutter then wakes and begins the routine again.
Our next daughter is very involved in college, work, church and boyfriends. Once again her inner sanctum is vacant most of the time except for the 3 dogs that prefer to sleep on her bed while she is away.
This week our youngest daughter went on a choir trip to Florida. No competition was involved. No singing practice was needed. I assume that the choir teachers like to get trips to exotic places. She left Sunday at noon and returns Saturday at midnight.
Our youngest son left Wednesday to go to a church youth conference to return Saturday evening.
Thursday and Friday nights found my wife and I alone at the house. There was no shouting, no loud music. No clothes, books, shoes or other accouterments of youth were laying around the house. No friends phoned for our children. None came to visit. In short, the house was peaceful, quiet and just a bit boring. We, of course, filled our time with cleaning, walking, shopping and other activities including conversation, some of which centered on "This is what it will be like in about 5 years."
As long as my children live in the same area enabling visits as often as desired, I think I could learn to like this vision of the future.
Twist
My oldest daughter has been married now for 5 years and has two children. They live 15 minutes across town, a distance sufficient to enable both parent and child to feel independance.
Although my oldest son still currently resides in a small corner of our house, he seldom occupies that space. Work, girlfriend, work and fishing keep his room vacant and quiet, if not clean. He comes in late and sleeps amidst the clutter then wakes and begins the routine again.
Our next daughter is very involved in college, work, church and boyfriends. Once again her inner sanctum is vacant most of the time except for the 3 dogs that prefer to sleep on her bed while she is away.
This week our youngest daughter went on a choir trip to Florida. No competition was involved. No singing practice was needed. I assume that the choir teachers like to get trips to exotic places. She left Sunday at noon and returns Saturday at midnight.
Our youngest son left Wednesday to go to a church youth conference to return Saturday evening.
Thursday and Friday nights found my wife and I alone at the house. There was no shouting, no loud music. No clothes, books, shoes or other accouterments of youth were laying around the house. No friends phoned for our children. None came to visit. In short, the house was peaceful, quiet and just a bit boring. We, of course, filled our time with cleaning, walking, shopping and other activities including conversation, some of which centered on "This is what it will be like in about 5 years."
As long as my children live in the same area enabling visits as often as desired, I think I could learn to like this vision of the future.
Twist
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Heavenly Visitors
There have been times when those who have crossed the veil have not been far away. Here are some examples I thought I'd record here.
Mom
This happened a while after Grandma and Grandpa had passed away. When Aunt May’s grandson Eric and his wife Suzie were going through the temple being sealed, I was just sitting back by myself next to an empty seat. I said to myself, "Well, Mother, there’s an empty seat. Come and sit by me."
Then Dad said, "I’m sitting by you. Mother’s up front so she can see better." Just as if he were sitting there saying that. I sort of laughed and felt like crying and said to myself, "That’s right Dad. That’s where Mother would be."
Mom again
Another time we were doing sealings, I was sitting waiting and wasn’t really thinking of anything and all of a sudden it felt like someone kissed me on the forehead. I had the strong feeling that my mother kissed me. Till this day I still think she did. I told Reva this and she said, "If you’d told me she kissed you anywhere else except you forehead, I wouldn’t have believed you."
The forehead’s the only place she ever kissed us.
Twist
One night I had a dream that all of us as brothers and sisters were together at some gathering. Joyce was there and as we greeted her we all hugged each other and were so happy to see her. It wasn’t as if we were meeting some stranger for the first time. We knew her well and the feeling of knowing her well was very strong, in fact that feeling persists to this day as I remember the dream and I usually don’t remember my dreams. She had almost shoulder length salt and pepper hair and was a little shorter than the rest of us. Joyce had a little of Mary Beth’s look to her, maybe being better described as a cross between Marlene and Mary Beth. When I related this to Marlene later, she said she had always had the impression that Joyce had black hair like hers.
Death is not the finale, just an intermission.
Twist
Mom
This happened a while after Grandma and Grandpa had passed away. When Aunt May’s grandson Eric and his wife Suzie were going through the temple being sealed, I was just sitting back by myself next to an empty seat. I said to myself, "Well, Mother, there’s an empty seat. Come and sit by me."
Then Dad said, "I’m sitting by you. Mother’s up front so she can see better." Just as if he were sitting there saying that. I sort of laughed and felt like crying and said to myself, "That’s right Dad. That’s where Mother would be."
Mom again
Another time we were doing sealings, I was sitting waiting and wasn’t really thinking of anything and all of a sudden it felt like someone kissed me on the forehead. I had the strong feeling that my mother kissed me. Till this day I still think she did. I told Reva this and she said, "If you’d told me she kissed you anywhere else except you forehead, I wouldn’t have believed you."
The forehead’s the only place she ever kissed us.
Twist
One night I had a dream that all of us as brothers and sisters were together at some gathering. Joyce was there and as we greeted her we all hugged each other and were so happy to see her. It wasn’t as if we were meeting some stranger for the first time. We knew her well and the feeling of knowing her well was very strong, in fact that feeling persists to this day as I remember the dream and I usually don’t remember my dreams. She had almost shoulder length salt and pepper hair and was a little shorter than the rest of us. Joyce had a little of Mary Beth’s look to her, maybe being better described as a cross between Marlene and Mary Beth. When I related this to Marlene later, she said she had always had the impression that Joyce had black hair like hers.
Death is not the finale, just an intermission.
Twist
Saturday, May 19, 2007
One Man's Junk....
I love to go to garage sales. The allure is a cross between snooping in strangers houses, finding out what they consider surplus, un-needed items and rummaging around in those items to find the bargain I didn't know I was looking to find. We started our day today arranging the surplus wares of our abode to attract the gaze of shoppers we hoped to entice to our garage by stategically placing signs on cardboard boxes at each end or our street. Now, lest you think that insufficient advertising, it helped a bit that the entire block around the corner was having a block garage sale.
The first order of business, after getting set up, was to get my wife to watch our sale, whilst I perused the merchandise begging my attention a mere half a block around the corner. I walked about a half a mile down one side of the street and back again and spent a grand total of 75 cents on a roll of speaker wire. My treasure found a year ago was a rain chime box. Turn it upside down, the right side up and bb's drop on the chimes for up to 30 minutes
The bargain hunters from around the block did manage to find their way to our humble driveway, but possibly with purses much lighter than they started, because they didn't leave an abundance of currency in my coffers. We brought in a grand total of about $95, which needed to be split four ways, my take amounting to approximately $35 for 7 hours of selling. As I make that much in a couple of hours at my day job, I think I'll stick to it.
Doggonit, I didn't even get rid of very much junk, I mean surplus domestic products. Best part of all is that my wife wants to do this all again in 4 weeks, leaving our display counters intact in the garage once again showing that Americans will store $100 worth of stuff in their garage and leave $30,000 worth of automobiles unprotected out in the weather.
I can't wait to hit the sales again next weekend.
Twist
The first order of business, after getting set up, was to get my wife to watch our sale, whilst I perused the merchandise begging my attention a mere half a block around the corner. I walked about a half a mile down one side of the street and back again and spent a grand total of 75 cents on a roll of speaker wire. My treasure found a year ago was a rain chime box. Turn it upside down, the right side up and bb's drop on the chimes for up to 30 minutes
The bargain hunters from around the block did manage to find their way to our humble driveway, but possibly with purses much lighter than they started, because they didn't leave an abundance of currency in my coffers. We brought in a grand total of about $95, which needed to be split four ways, my take amounting to approximately $35 for 7 hours of selling. As I make that much in a couple of hours at my day job, I think I'll stick to it.
Doggonit, I didn't even get rid of very much junk, I mean surplus domestic products. Best part of all is that my wife wants to do this all again in 4 weeks, leaving our display counters intact in the garage once again showing that Americans will store $100 worth of stuff in their garage and leave $30,000 worth of automobiles unprotected out in the weather.
I can't wait to hit the sales again next weekend.
Twist
Friday, May 4, 2007
Bureaucracy
I went to a class in Austin last September for training in my job for the state of Texas. The instructor was very good. He is also a Superbowl Official during football season. Although I have had a great deal of instruction in how to be a teacher, this class gave me additional insights and I enjoyed the class. I did not, however use that training for what it was intended, primarily to teach week long classes to other state employees. To be brief, I resigned that position.
Quarterly we do seminars for the public, which I have taught for years. Recently, headquarters decided that the seminar presenters needed to be trained to be able to do this and sent me to a class to learn how to be a teacher. Oh, wait a minute. It was the same class I just took. I let the powers that be know I had just taken this class, but since this class was now call a class to train the seminar presenters, they said I needed to go back.
My instructor in Austin was surprised to see me back, but ours is not to question why.... In my final presentation of the class, I totally lost my train of thought....and couldn't get it back. I ended my presentation a couple of minutes early.
I wonder how I'll do next time they send me to this class...
Twist
Quarterly we do seminars for the public, which I have taught for years. Recently, headquarters decided that the seminar presenters needed to be trained to be able to do this and sent me to a class to learn how to be a teacher. Oh, wait a minute. It was the same class I just took. I let the powers that be know I had just taken this class, but since this class was now call a class to train the seminar presenters, they said I needed to go back.
My instructor in Austin was surprised to see me back, but ours is not to question why.... In my final presentation of the class, I totally lost my train of thought....and couldn't get it back. I ended my presentation a couple of minutes early.
I wonder how I'll do next time they send me to this class...
Twist
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)