Edison, Tesla and Twist?

I was a curious child growing up. Not curious as in strange, although that may also have been true, but curious about everything. My favorite reading material in the bathroom was the Worldbook Encyclopedia. My parents gave me chemistry kits, hoping I would grow up to be a scientist. I played with all the chemicals in the various experiments and decided that chemistry was a little too boring, though the fireproof matches were quite interesting. Stick matches dipped in an asbestos solution. The most exciting results were achieved by making the stink bomb using sulphur and wax.

I used to take things apart to see how they work. Radios, TVs, (Dad’s old slide projector... I’m not sure he ever knew) lawnmowers etc. Working on lawnmowers and cars convinced me I’d never be a mechanic. Plumbing held no appeal either. I eventually gravitated to electronics. I took electronics classes in high school and learned a lot. I’ve lost track of how many crystal radio sets I’ve built. I also etched circuit boards, built a metal detector and a lie detector. But for some not to be mentioned here circumstances, I might have become an electrical engineer. As it is, I handle financial records and dabble in ham radio and other miscellaneous electronics.

Back in the 70’s I collected electrical project schematics. One of the more interesting was a “working” Star Trek communicator. When finished, it would look like the one Captain Kirk used and was a functioning walkie talkie. Most of the projects I never built, but I kept most of the plans. I remembered one of the projects from the past when I heard about a Tesla cell phone charger. Basically, the unit uses radio and electromagnetic waves all around us to generate enough current to charge a cell phone. I finally tracked down the schematic for that project. That prompted me to go back to my plans from the 1970’s. There was a similar project that generated 3 volts DC output. Though the newer plan doesn’t specify the exact output, it incorporates a similar, yet apparently updated design. In the 70’s, 3V DC wasn’t of much use. Now that is sufficient power to charge a multitude of modern portable electronics.

I have to wonder if such devices have been carefully hidden away by battery companies, patents purchased and filed in deep dark basements by gasoline or natural gas companies, or if such inventions have simply been pooh poohed by those who would say there is no perpetual motion or free energy machines. You decide. I’m going to try my hand at tapping into plucking free energy from the airwaves.

T Boone, give me a call,

Twist

I'm a Survivor

I’m a Survivor

I’ve been a fan of the Survivor TV show for years. I missed the very first season as I thought it would be another “Big Brother” or some such reality show. I didn’t realize how awesome the show was that season. I guess the buzz and hype caught my attention, because I’ve never missed another episode.

Throughout the years we’ve had our favorites in every season, some more memorable than others. We have hated some players, loved others...as planned by the directors, in general. On every season I wonder why the tribe members starve themselves so much instead of spending most of their waking hours looking for food.

I have applied to be on Survivor 3 or 4 times...I lost track. I know the first application was on a VHS tape, while the rest were uploaded videos. I can’t help but think they actually may have called for me, but as I ignore unknown, unidentified incoming phone calls, I may never know.

While preparing for a possible season in Samoa, I studied the local flora and fauna for food sources, including sea plants and fish species. I was vindicated in my research as Rob made fire using a fire saw, the method I determined to be the most effective and easiest to use for Samoa.

Effective January first I began a new career, after a 3 year stretch of retirement from a prior employer. When I next retire, I’ll draw on 2 retirement systems and, if it’s still around, the Social Security system. While I won’t make a million dollars using any combination of my income, I will have a steady income which will prepare me financially for the rest of my life...exactly what I had hoped for on Survivor.

I won’t have time again to take off the required 6 weeks to be on Survivor again, so I won’t be applying again, sorry, Jeff. I think I would have been an awesome player. I think I would have been one of the few to gain weight on the Survivor diet, but I guess it was not meant to be.

Um, Jeff, only kidding. Feel free to call me anytime. I’ll work something out with the boss...

Twist

Timely Poem

Found this and thought I'd pass it on as very appropriate these days,

Twist

Ode to Texas

The devil wanted a place on earth
Sort of a summer home
A place to spend his vacation
Whenever he wanted to roam.
So he picked out Texas
A place both wretched and rough
Where the climate was to his liking
And the cowboys hardened and tough.
He dried up the streams in the canyons
And ordered no rain to fall
He dried up the lakes in the valleys
Then baked and scorched it all.
Then over his barren country
He transplanted shrubs from hell.
The cactus, thistle and prickly pear
The climate suited them well.
Now the home was much to his liking
But animal life, he had none.
So he created crawling creatures
That all mankind would shun.
First he made the rattlesnake
With it's forked poisonous tongue.
Taught it to strike and rattle
And how to swallow it's young.
Then he made scorpions and lizards
And the ugly old horned toad.
He placed spiders of every description
Under rocks by the side of the road.
Then he ordered the sun to shine hotter,
Hotter and hotter still.
Until even the cactus wilted
And the old horned lizard took ill.
Then he gazed on his earthly kingdom
As any creator would
He chuckled a little up his sleeve
And admitted that it was good.
‘Twas summer now and Satan lay
By a prickly pear to rest.
The sweat rolled off his swarthy brow
So he took off his coat and vest.
"By Golly," he finally panted,
"I did my job too well,
I'm going back to where I came from,
Texas is hotter than Hell."

- Author unknown

Too Little

I was inspired by a show I saw a number of years ago, The Man Who Knew too Little, with Bill Murray. In the show, Bill Murray’s character, intending to participate in a personalized live drama called The Theater of Life, gets caught up in a real adventure of murder, intrigue and mystery.

About a year ago I decided that the storyline could be adapted to a date with my wife for a birthday or anniversary. The birthday came and went without sufficient planning to pull off the event, but as our anniversary approached I began fine tuning the details.

Ideally the scenario needs 5 or 6 actors, but we made do with 4, starring some of my children and their spouses, each dressed for the part. All got pretty caught up in their parts, one in particular with makeup to portray a dead body.

Stage One was the First Contact to start the “assignment.” I had planned a telephone message, but couldn’t quite get the machine to accept the audio so had to settle for an email message. It went like this:

“Help me Obi Wan Kenobi. You’re m only hope.”

This was Princess Leia audio from Star Wars. The second part of the message came from an internet audio reader. I picked a British/Australian female voice that said, “Be at Barnes and Noble at exactly 6:03pm. Look in the 2nd Bourne Identity book from the left.”

Our Stage Two actor placed The Rules of Jason Bourne in the appropriate book just before we arrived then waited, hidden in the stacks for us to arrive. Hand written at the bottom of the rules were the words, “FOOD COURT ASAP SIT.”

After finding the rules in the book we proceeded to the food court in the mall, unknowingly followed by the actress from Stage Two. Almost immediately after sitting at the food court, my wife with her back to the approaching actor, a newspaper was placed discreetly on our table and the actress, wearing a scarf and sunglasses, walked on.

I use the word discreetly, but I was wearing a tuxedo looking 007 outfit, my wife her slinking dress and we both were wearing sunglasses. Amazing how few looks we actually got. You wouldn’t believe some of the other outfits we’ve worn to the mall.

In this Stage Three the newspaper contained a paper rolled up inside. Originally I was going to have an airsoft gun rolled up in the newspaper also, but it was too bulky. The clue paper had a picture of a prominent landmark in town and words printed like cut out newspaper letters that said:

“REMEMBER CODE WORDS FROM THE START.”

We made our way through the mall back to the car and travelled to the landmark. I had set a time schedule for each stage of the drama, but needed to drive it ahead of time to make sure. Generally we were close.

In Stage Four at the landmark the next actress was wearing a white wig and wearing a black outfit. When my wife asked if she was our next contact, she asked for the passcode. My wife dutifully repeated, “Help me Obi Wan Kenobi. You’re m only hope.”

The contact showed us a Toppest Top Secret envelope, placed it in a briefcase and locked it. She handed me an airsoft gun, handcuffed the briefcase to my wife’s right hand and said, “Deliver this to the Institute. You know, the Institute.”

Note to self: when doing this again handcuff the case to the LEFT hand. My wife had her purse on her right shoulder, which now could not be removed; she couldn’t close her door by herself or fasten her seat belt properly.

The Institute was not very far away and we arrived easily 10 minutes early. We drove a few blocks away to allow the scene to be set. Our Stage Five contact, as we arrived, was seen, apparently dead (with great makeup) on the grass. Clutched in her hand was a blood-stained note. After we pried it from her hands we determined that it contained GPS coordinates in Spanish.

My wife translated the numbers (with a little help from me) and I put them into the GPS I had conveniently brought with us. Actually I had input the coordinates previously to save time. Here again, note to self: Go to the actual location sometime earlier and get the EXACT coordinates instead of trusting that the internet website is right, then try them at least once.

I had started our car and faced it towards the exit of the parking lot so that my wife would not see our Stage Five “dead” contact get up and run to her car to join her husband. At this point I announced to my wife that we were being followed. We drove away from the parking lot with the intent to “lose them” in a nearby parking garage. Unfortunately I went the wrong way and the chase car got stuck at the light. Since they knew where we were going they actually beat us there, but, not seeing us, proceed to the final location at Stage Seven.

Upon arriving at Stage Six, we, of course, were supposed to be unaware that we were no longer being followed and made our tire screeching trip to the top of the parking garage and back down again. This did have the added advantage of helping the GPS to get a good satellite fix.

On the way to Stage Seven, the GPS coordinates were not exact so I drove into the Applebee’s parking lot anyway. Our final contact was there dressed similar to me. He asked if my wife had something for him and she said it was locked in the case. He told her that the combination was a very important date for us. It was the combination in two digit month, day and year of our anniversary.

My wife opened the briefcase and handed him the sealed envelope. After opening it, he handed back a note which said, “Enjoy your anniversary dinner at Applebee’s.” The envelope also contained cash to pay for dinner, a key to the handcuffs and a note that said, “You already have a key to my heart. Here is the key to the handcuffs.”

At that point my wife and I went inside and enjoyed a delicious anniversary meal.

I put on my Facebook page that 31 years ago I made the best decision of my life and married my sweetheart. I’ve never regretted that decision.

Happy anniversary to us,

Twist

Guy Stuff

Ok, so first off, I apologize to all you women who do your own mechanic work. In fact, I don't really need to apologize. You know who you are and you know you are better mechanics than I am.

Rather than pay $100 to change the radiator fluid on my little truck, I did it myself. It was less traumatic than my usual car repairs. I usually cut my fingers, get some strange fluid in my face or eyes, and spend hours on something the mechanic could do in mere minutes. I sometimes buy or replace the wrong part.

This time things went well, until I noticed the smell of radiator fluid and noticed big spots on the driveway. I was about to add more fluid, thinking it should be low, then I got smart, or luck, and decided to see where the fluid was leaking. I quickly found a leak on the large hose, bought a new one and replaced it. Right...it wasn’t quite that easy, but fairly so.

As I examined the old hose I found out why it was leaking. As you can see in the picture, there is a large abrasion on the side of the hose. That is what happens when you hose comes in contact with the pulley situated too closely to the radiator. I got creative with the hose, a shield and some wire and I think that the pulley won’t be an issue in the future.

Once again, all you knowledgeable mechanics keep your opinions to yourself about such McGyvering...unless that repair will lead to some catastrophic meltdown of my engine.

On the road once again. Oh, by the way, I replaced the power jack for my laptop so it’s on the road again, too, more or less.

Twist

You Can't be too Careful

My wife and I are avid garage sale aficionados. She says that she decided this week that we qualify as professional garage salers. While this means we find many treasures hidden amongst the piles of leftovers, this also means that we have to store those many treasures somewhere. With that problem we periodically have garage sales of our own to attempt to unclutter our home. Lately we have also begun selling things on the internet, mainly through Craigslist.

Craigslist provides a free venue to post descriptions and pictures of items we want to sell in a local market. Did I mention it’s free? We have had some success selling things in this manner. My latest attempt is to sell a large monitor for a Mac computer, back and middle seats to a Chrysler Voyager van and a very new motorized wheelchair.

I posted descriptions and pictures of each item and shortly emails began arriving asking if each was still available. In an attempt to be fair to all, I answer emails in the order they arrive. For future reference I will mass email all and give more detailed contact information then sell on a first come first serve basis.

The wheelchair was the most expensive item. Quickly I received an inquiry regarding it. After replying I received another email requesting more information, then another requesting additional pictures. Soon the potential buyer wanted information for a shipping company he contacted to ship the item. I don’t offer shipping, normally. It was exciting anticipating such a sale.

Soon I got an email from Paypal stating a payment had arrived. That’s when things got weird. The email stated that since a third party carrier was involved in the shipping, the funds would not be released until they had notification of payment of over $300 to the carrier. That’s also when the bells began ringing. Scam alert! I emailed the buyer to let him know that I would not fall for this scam and that I was forwarding copies of all the emails to Paypal Security. Amazingly enough, I know, but I have not heard any more from buyer or carrier. The sad part is that if he had perpetrated the scam smarter I would have shipped the wheelchair (on his nickel) to him and would not have received a valid payment. Now, however, I’m another day older and another day smarter, hopefully, and will avoid potential scammers in the future.

Stay strong. Stay aware,

Twist

Walking

I’ve always loved to hike in the wild. Unfortunately, the wild has usually been far from where I live. My preferred path would be no trail or, perhaps, a rabbit trail. Where the foliage does not allow simple cross country ambulation I defer to the beaten path. In the city, usually grass is preferable to the street.

While walking, I watch the ground for signs (animal tracks and such for you city folks), interesting rocks, plants and whatever else catches my eye or stirs my imagination. I tracked a deer through a twisting turning maze of honeysuckle one year. As a youngster I came across a horned toad skull. It looked for all the world like a miniature buffalo skull. In Kentucky I scouted for morel mushrooms that are prized by all fungi collectors.

City walking, while there is occasional nature to be seen, usually results in finding mostly man-made treasures in the road. If you want to collect aluminum cans for about a nickel a piece there is a limitless supply. When I walk the roads I pick up the more solid items that could puncture a tire. I collect the nails, screws and bolts that lay strewn along the road. Occasionally I drop them down the water meter key holes, but usually throw them away at home. The largest item I picked up was a six foot piece of rebar.

This week as my wife and I were walking I noticed a small shiny card on the road that turned out to be a driver’s license. Though the address was on the card, I couldn’t find a phone number online or in the phone book. In this modern age of technology, however, I did find the girl listed on Facebook and sent her a message. We even had a mutual FB friend.

When the mother picked up the license she told me that her daughter left her wallet and car keys in the car, unlocked, apparently. Someone stole the car and wrecked it. They probably emptied the wallet of anything valuable and threw it away, or at least the driver’s license. The license might have been useful except it was a provisional license for a minor and expires in a few more months.

I’ve learned from all this. If you need a piece of rebar, go for a walk. Lock your car. Take your keys. Hide your valuables. Oh, wait. That last bit is from the sign at the mall, but I guess it’s still sound advice.

I wonder what I’ll find today,

Twist

Say Again, Louder, Please

About six months ago I notice a significant hearing loss in my right ear. It was about the same time as a one hour static laden session on the ham radio and a summer of swimming. I don’t know if either thing caused the loss or if it was just time.

While I didn’t routinely listen to loud music as a teenager, dances always played music too loudly and I remember occasionally sitting directly in front of the speakers. I had a pistol from the time I was sixteen and back in those days nobody talked about ear protection while shooting. Later, I worked outside with lawn mowers, weed eaters and other loud equipment. These are all contributing factors to hearing loss.

The graph above shows my hearing range. The green line is the level for normal hearing. It is a straight line. The red line shows the hearing in my left ear. The right line shows the hearing in my right ear. Even though the lines are fairly close together, the differences are exponential. The dip in the upper mid range is where my hearing loss is most apparent. The ENT specialist was only surprised that only my right ear was at that level. Usually both ears deteriorate in hearing at pretty much the same rate.

Rather than getting hearing aids at this time, I’ll just compensate like I do with my contacts. I wear both of them if I watch a 3D movie. I wear one if I’m driving anywhere, especially at night. Most of the time I go au natural...ocularly speaking, and don’t notice any difference or problem. I now walk with my wife on my left side to hear her better. I hold the phone to my left hear and I will increase the occurrences of saying, “What?” or “Say that again, please.”

One really good piece of advice came from the ENT. If you wake up one morning and suddenly can’t hear in one or both ears, immediately call a specialist. Do not even wait a day or a weekend. If that is treated quickly, much or all of your hearing can be returned. Unfortunately, if you wait you lose that opportunity.

Ah, life. What doesn’t wear out, fall out, stop working or sag, usually just gets in the way, but if that all didn’t happen, none of us would ever want to leave.

Twist

Twist's Rules

I've been a fan of the rules of Jason Bourne and Gibb's rules from NCICS. With that in mind, I decided to print my list of rules as I've compiled them so far:

1. You can never have too many ways to make light or start fire.
2. Never go anywhere without a knife...or two or three.
3. You can never have too many pockets.
4. The best thing to use to pick a lock is a key, even the wrong key.
5. Save it for a rainy day, it’s of no use when thrown away.
6. Take time to tie a knot right and you won’t worry later.
7. Carry a harmonica with you wherever you go.
8. If you’re going to tell a tale, make it as tall as you can.
9. Talk to your animals. You’d be surprised what they have to say.
10. I may not always be right, but I’m never wrong
11. You have to grow old, but you don’t have to grow up.

If you know of any more of my rules, let me know,

Twist

Interesting Times

There's an old Chinese curse, "May you live in interesting times." This has definitely been an interesting year. I haven't been hired for any of the jobs where I submitted applications. A good friend of mine went through an illness and six months in the hospital then passed away. I took care of is house, cats and yard during that time. I made all the arrangements for his memorial service which we had yesterday. Family and friends met, talked and received some of his estate. In two weeks we will have an estate sale and I will empty most of the house by the end of November. His ex-wife will then decide what to do with the house.

A week ago I was just called to be the Branch President of the Quaker Heights Spanish speaking branch of our Church. We don't know how many people will attend or who they are. I have two counselors now and in two weeks we will have our first set of meetings. At that point we will start calling people to staff positions in the branch. My office is getting set up with furniture, phone, etc. My wife will also attend and has been studying Spanish.

We will spend Christmas at home with our children, their spouses and children instead of travelling to Kentucky. My wife, who started a new job recently, can not take vacatin time till next year. Her grandmother will turn 104 in December. My parents will be 85 years old by my father's next birthday.

A year from now my youngest son will go on a mission for our Church, my youngest daughter will be married and my wife and I will move into the group of empty nesters.

When I retired, I didn't plan on staying retired, but simply to change careers. That is still my plan. I just didn't know that retiring will make you so tired.

Life goes on and is alway interesting,

Twist

When Ya Gotta Go

I love to kayak. I'm not one of those death defying whitewater people. I just like to tote my boat to wherever I feel like floating and put it in the water. I paddle around the dock, the dam, the island, the ducks, go by kids on the playground or wherever the mood directs.

Friday I got out early and went fishing as well. I was rewarded after about an hour with being pulled around by a stout little 4lb bass. I thanked him by letting him go when I was done. As tired as I was I decided to check out a geocache in the middle of another lake. That lake had flooded recently and I believe that the cache, a pill bottle, floated away in the flood, but I spent about 30 minutes paddling around the island looking for it anyway. I returned home and emailed the person who hid the cache and asked if he had visited it since the flood. I haven't heard from him yet.

The day was refreshing and tiring, but got more so that evening as I discovered that two hours after I left the second lake a man drowned there. The story was not clear, but he had evidently swum out to the island to retrieve his disabled RC boat. Had I been there at the same time I would gladly have gotten the boat for him. Would that have saved him? Would he have still drowned? Would he have taken me with him? Don't know. This much I do know, when it's your time to go, you go.

Glad I haven't felt the urge,

Twist

Father Knows Best

Nathan: I can climb over the fence and get the ball.
Me: No. It's not safe. There's a big dog over there.
Nathan: I've done it before. The dog's not there.
Me: It's a big dog. It's not safe.
Nathan: I've done it before. It's no big deal.

He climbs over the fence and disappears.

BIG Dog: WOOF! WOOF!

Ball sails back over the fence.

Nathan sails over the fence....mostly. As he unhooks clothing caught on the fence:

Me: I guess you'll listen to your Dad more often...

Dxing

At first glance you might think this blog is about some obscure Chinese or Mayan word. Now, really. A Mayan word would start with Dz and probably not end with the "g". Those in the know are aware that the term "Dx" stands for long distance as it applies to ham radio. With a good ham radio capable of operating on frequencies between around 2Mhz to 10Mhz, a licensed operator can make contacts hundreds and thousands of miles away.

Ham radio equipment is not cheap and usually isn't space convenient. Like hospitals and government, a ham shack is usually continually expanding. You generally start with a radio and an antenna. The radio usually needs a separate power supply. Most antennas aren't perfectly adaptable to changing frequencies and an antenna tuner is needed to make the antenna work well. Since operators like to know how much power they are generating they have a separate power meter or one incorporated into the antenna tuner. When hams (a licensed ham radio operator) notice how little power their meter shows they are transmitting, they decide to add a linear amplifier. A linear amplifier increases their signal output from usually about 100 watts up to 1000 watts or more, even though the Federal Communications Commission has rules limiting the output on certain frequencies to much less than 1000 watts.

Hams are always looking for ways to make their antennas higher, longer, thicker, thinner, more directional, more omni-directional and generally more functional. These endeavors lead to greater output...from their wallets and more input from their wives and neighbors. Contrary to the rumors, a properly tuned rig (combination of all ham radio equipment) should not interfere with neighbor's tv reception.

The number of radios in the shack magically multiply. The Dx equipment, for HF (high frequency) radio, is overkill for local communications. Ham operators usually accumulate a variety of radios that include VHF equipment for local to medium range and often UHF equipment for very local communications. Radios range from large base units to mobile units that fit in a vehicle to hand held (HT or handie talkie) units that can be clipped to a belt.

The most important requirement of a ham radio system is the most logical one. You must have someone, somewhere to talk to you. It's not much fun having half of a tin can telephone. It gets really boring really fast. Add the second person component and hams will talk endlessly about to others describing their rig in detail, then letting the other person describe their equipment and layout.

Personnally I prefer to use a radio similar to a telephone. I like to talk to family, friends and others about topics I would discuss over the phone. Why not use a phone, some would ask. When emergencies arise and power is out, hams are usually the voices that are heard through the airwaves coordinating rescue efforts. That standard answer aside, it's just cool to talk over equipment that is not taxed, charged by the minute or impeded in general by someone else.

Currently only one member of my family has a license, Lonehawk. He and I attempted a few times to connect. When we finally established communication, it worked better than we thought it would. Granted, we had to wait till 11pm CDT to do it, but there is something calming about hearing the familiar voice in the darkness that you know is hundreds of miles away. True, the call usually starts out, "I can hear you. Can you hear me?" but the sense of accomplishment makes it all worthwhile. The world isn't quite as large as it once was and at least one conversation less lonesome.

73's

Twist

Twi Dilemna: Edward vs. Jacob

Stop by any conglomeration of two or more females these days and you will likely hear a heated debate in progress: Team Edward vs. Team Jacob. If you have never read any of the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer, then you will most assuredly be in the dark about the discussion.

Suffice it to say that Jacob, a teen werewolf (Hmm, I think that’s actually been done before. Anyone ever heard of Michael J. Fox?) and Edward, an immortal, vampire teen, are the heartthrobs of every reader possessing ovaries. Forget the fact that both were always considered monsters throughout history that slaughtered mortals in a very bloody manner. We are to forget that a snake is a snake and accept that both these individuals are different from what we have learned. In fact, we are supposed to accept that they are different from others of their kind in the series.

Edward, who can hear every thought of every person except, of course, his mortal girlfriend, is evidently the perfect man, the perfect boyfriend. I tell all my guy friends who have not read the Twilight series that if they want to understand how the female mind works they need to read these books. I’m not saying that women understand men, but that they think Edward and Jacob are nearly perfect.

I read the series, plus another book by Stephanie Meyer called The Host. I enjoyed that book as much as, if not more than, the Twilight books. I’m definitely a Stephanie Meyer fan and will read other books she writes, but let me just state for the record that I am not for Team Edward or Team Jacob. They, along with Bell, are both neurotic and exhibit the normally female self-destructive behavior.

Make no doubt about it. With her looks, talent, strength and she can see the future, I am 100% aboard for Team Alice

Twist

An Apple a Day

Since I retired last year, though I'm looking for a new career, I have thought many times about health care. Our current president has not improved the situation, but, if anything, has made things worse. I will not go into politics here, but rather will only comment on the state of things as I see them.

When I retired, I was able to keep my same health insurance, a great blessing to us since there are still 4 of us living at home. At age 65 most insurance drops off so that Medicare can take over. Correct me if I'm wrong, but why would your insurance make you go to less coverage at the time of your life when you seem to need medicines and doctors most. My parents and in-laws pay 3-5 times as much as I do on prescription medicines each month.

I was reading the Bible and came across a scripture that shows that the problems with doctors are as old as time. Referring to the woman with the issue of blood that touched Jesus' garments and was healed, Mark 5:26 says that she "had suffered many things of many physicians, and had spent all that she had, and was nothing bettered, but rather grew worse."

A good friend of mine is currently in the hospital awaiting treatment that will actually fix his problem. He started with an aortic aneurism, had leakage from the stent, has now suffered a punctured esophagus and has been told he has too much scar tissue for a feeding tube while his esophagus would heal. There is still or again leaking of blood internally which puts him on a slow decline into anemia. While the medicos confer with each other and him, he is closer to passing from this life every day.

Over the nearly 4 months my friend has been fighting for his life, I can only imagine the medical bills that are accumulating. My friend, my parents and I are all in agreement that we’d rather not ever go through another surgery. It would be nice if we could avoid the need just by wishing it be that way.

Paul Harvey used to always say, “There’s no sense worrying. None of us are going to get out of this world alive.”

Good thing that the pains and sufferings in this life are so temporary and that eternity is free from all of that.

Got to go eat my every day apple,

Twist

Sorry, About That...

As our stake is converting over to the new member involved cleaning of the buildings, our family was selected as one of the first to start the program. We have cleaned the building before, but not to the extent that is now the program. The list of those to clean during June has been on the bulletin for the past several weeks. We duly noted the cleaning and time on PDAs, calendar and notes. Our turn was Saturday at 9am. Three families are scheduled each week to clean, one from each ward. The cleaning is well organized and well planned. Unfortunately it was not well reminded, at least to us. Due to a neighborhood garage sale at Jenni’s area then temple service later we totally forgot about the cleaning until 9pm. We hurried over to the church, just in case no one had cleaned, but found it done very well. Helen and I agreed, we owe a couple of families a plate of brownies. I advised the Bishop of our dereliction of duty and promised to do better in the future.

Guess we’ll get out the baking pans and mixes,

Twist

The Royal Nonesuch

If you have ever read The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, by Mark Twain, you are sure to remember a couple of characters that crossed Huck’s path by the names of the Duke of Bridgewater and King Looy the Seventeenth of France. They were a pair of scoundrels if ever Mark Twain wrote of any. At one point in their time with Huck, they decided to put on a production of The King’s Camelopard or The Royal Nonesuch. The second title better fit the so called Tragedy as the scene played out in this manner:

“he rolled up the curtain, and the next minute the king come a-prancing out on all fours, naked; and he was painted all over, ring-streaked-and-striped, all sorts of colors, as splendid as a rainbow.”

The production was a scam which went very bad on the next night.

You might also remember the scene from the movie Mr. Mom in which the housewives basically shanghai Michael Keaton and take him to a strip club featuring male strippers.

These two references may appear to the casual reader to be totally random and unrelated, but I assure you they are quite relevant to the setting in which I found myself last night.

The teachers and staff at the elementary school where my wife works decided to go en masse to a play at a small theater in a nearby small town. The play featured two actors in The Mystery of Irma Vep, by Penny Dreadful. The main reason they wanted to go is that one of the two actors is a teacher in their school.

The Mystery of Irma Vep has approximately half a dozen characters, male and female, which are all played rather flamboyantly by the two male actors. The over-endowed female characters wear extravagant drag outfits which in some cases would put The Bird Cage actors to shame.

The plot entails werewolves, vampires, mummies and a great deal of confusion, but as the Duke and the King of Huckleberry Finn’s experience, there is a great deal of humor. I would not accuse them of overacting. I would never do that. I wouldn’t have to even mention it for anyone who saw the play. Let’s just say that Jim Carrey and Chevy Chase might have felt like amateurs in comparison to the actors of The Mystery of Irma Vep.

If the acting on stage has been adequately portrayed here by me, then you might be able to also picture the antics of the teachers and staff. The second reference from Mr. Mom would most accurately describe the audience around me at the play. The only exception would be that no one stuffed dollar bills down the entertainer’s clothing...at least, not that I saw. Feet stamped on the floor, raucous laughter, cat whistles, yelled comments and rolling in the aisle was the norm, and that was just my wife on one side of me and a friend on the other.

We started the evening by driving 45 miles to a small restaurant to eat dinner. We brought somewhere between 25 and 40 people to the town for dinner and the play. I ordered a banana milk shake to go with my bacon cheeseburger and onion rings. My wife had at least half of my milk shake after tasting how good it was. When the play was over we returned to the drive in, but they had shut down their milk shake ice cream machine. We found a Sonic drive in that was still open and got a few milk shakes there then undertook our return journey of 45 miles home arriving at about 10:30pm.

All in all it was an interesting day to say the least. I know all my female relatives and readers would have enjoyed the evening. Just like most of you think Julia Roberts is the most beautiful actress and love chocolate.

‘Nuff said,

Twist

Field Day

Today was Field Day for Texas Army MARS. That stands for Military Auxillary Radio System. This was also our Ward/Stake Preparedness Fair Day. Originally I was supposted to set up a display of my 72 hour kit. Unfortunately, the other 2 people doing the same thing took up all the table space.

I decided just to kill two birds with one stone (not the two who used up the tables) and I set up another table with my ham radio equipment. My friend and Zone Coordinator, Ted, joined me while we tried different cables and antennas to talk to people several hundred miles away...or not. We contacted the others during one hour, then couldn't raise anyone till the Field Day was over, at which point we joined a long distance ham radio net (chat). I used a weighted tennis ball on a rope to put our antenna up to the tops of the parking lot lights.

All in all it was an interesting day. Technolog is amazing, even if it's old.

Twist, N50GY ham license

The Next Samurai

I like to read books. Not like my wife, who reads several books a month, but I still like to read. I like to take my time reading a book to savor it, live in its pages as long as I can. A good author makes me remember experiences I have had and makes me feel as if I am experiencing something I never have before.

When I read a good book I feel the cool, oozing river mud between my toes and practically choke on the foul smell of decay that rises from the brackish slime. When a wizard sends forth a spell from his wand, staff or hand the hair on my head and arms stands on end from the sheer power passing by and my teeth vibrate as the power impacts with its prey.

Many authors satisfy my literary tastes, though I prefer fantasy with magic, swords and mythical creatures, I also delight to read science fiction with its tantalizing view of the world that is about to materialize in a not so distant future.

A friend of mine loaned me a book that does not fit any of these categories, nor does it satisfy the literary taste buds, but it did give me so much to consider that I find myself reading, re-reading, highlighting text and then pondering its applications. While this appears to be a reading ritual you would undertake with the scriptures in hand, the actual book is far from the divine word.

A Book of Five Rings, written by Miyamoto Musashi, is basically a how to book for the Samurai warrior. The chapters entail lessons on how to fight and defeat your enemy. Having said this, most every Japanese businessman has a copy of this book that he keeps with him and studies.

One of the first pearls of wisdom offered is this: Carry a long sword to fight enemies, but also carry a companion sword (short sword) for when the fighting gets up close and personal.

As I have read through the book I can see applications to life in many of the techniques taught for sword fighting. There are many parallels that can be drawn from these examples that can be effective in all aspects of life, but especially in business.

The automobile industry and others have often wondered how the Japanese operate so well. Maybe the CEOs of those and other companies should get a copy of A Book of Five Rings and do a little studying of their own.

Twist

The Rules of Jason Bourne

I just finished reading the 3 books in the Bourne series by Robert Ludlum, then watched the movies. The movies are only vaguely based on the books, but still fun to watch. Throughou the series, Jason Bourne repeats to himself and tells others his basic rules of being a spy. I thought the rules applied to other areas, so I compiled a list. Here is what I noted down:

1. You are not helpless. You will find your way
2. Instinct. Follow your instincts, reasonably, of course
3. Don’t crucify yourself
4. Nothing can be disregarded
5. To blend in, change your appearance, your hair your face.
6. Read the newspapers every day.
7. Stay controlled.
8. The success of any trap lies in its fundamental simplicity.
The reverse trap by the nature of its single complication must be swift and simpler still.
9. Use an advantage given to you.
10. Do the unexpected. Confuse the enemy, throw him off balance.
11. Don’t run. Running identifies you as a target.
12. Opportunities will present themselves. Recognize them, act on them.
13. Don’t make your moves when you’re tired or exhausted. Rest is a weapon. Use it. Don’t forget it.
14. Work on the visual. It’s more effective than anything else. People will draw the conclusions you want on the basis of what they see far more than from the most convincing lies you can tell them.
15. Study everything. You’ll find something you can use.
16. The cleanest escape is one done in stages, using whatever confusion there is.
17. Establish a benign contact as soon as you can. Especially in an unfamiliar face where there could be hostility. The contact could give you the opportunity or the time you need.
18. Avoid elevators whenever you can. They’re traps.
19. Your first reflections are the best, the most accurate, because the impressions are stored in your head, like the information in a data bank. That’s what your head is.

If you noticed any rules I missed, let me know.

Twist