Twist's Tales

I'm a Survivor

2012-02-18T14:08:00.001-08:00

I’m a Survivor

I’ve been a fan of the Survivor TV show for years. I missed the very first season as I thought it would be another “Big Brother” or some such reality show. I didn’t realize how awesome the show was that season. I guess the buzz and hype caught my attention, because I’ve never missed another episode.

Throughout the years we’ve had our favorites in every season, some more memorable than others. We have hated some players, loved others...as planned by the directors, in general. On every season I wonder why the tribe members starve themselves so much instead of spending most of their waking hours looking for food.

I have applied to be on Survivor 3 or 4 times...I lost track. I know the first application was on a VHS tape, while the rest were uploaded videos. I can’t help but think they actually may have called for me, but as I ignore unknown, unidentified incoming phone calls, I may never know.

While preparing for a possible season in Samoa, I studied the local flora and fauna for food sources, including sea plants and fish species. I was vindicated in my research as Rob made fire using a fire saw, the method I determined to be the most effective and easiest to use for Samoa.

Effective January first I began a new career, after a 3 year stretch of retirement from a prior employer. When I next retire, I’ll draw on 2 retirement systems and, if it’s still around, the Social Security system. While I won’t make a million dollars using any combination of my income, I will have a steady income which will prepare me financially for the rest of my life...exactly what I had hoped for on Survivor.

I won’t have time again to take off the required 6 weeks to be on Survivor again, so I won’t be applying again, sorry, Jeff. I think I would have been an awesome player. I think I would have been one of the few to gain weight on the Survivor diet, but I guess it was not meant to be.

Um, Jeff, only kidding. Feel free to call me anytime. I’ll work something out with the boss...

Twist

Timely Poem

2011-08-05T19:46:00.000-07:00

Found this and thought I'd pass it on as very appropriate these days,

Twist

Ode to Texas

The devil wanted a place on earth
Sort of a summer home
A place to spend his vacation
Whenever he wanted to roam.
So he picked out Texas
A place both wretched and rough
Where the climate was to his liking
And the cowboys hardened and tough.
He dried up the streams in the canyons
And ordered no rain to fall
He dried up the lakes in the valleys
Then baked and scorched it all.
Then over his barren country
He transplanted shrubs from hell.
The cactus, thistle and prickly pear
The climate suited them well.
Now the home was much to his liking
But animal life, he had none.
So he created crawling creatures
That all mankind would shun.
First he made the rattlesnake
With it's forked poisonous tongue.
Taught it to strike and rattle
And how to swallow it's young.
Then he made scorpions and lizards
And the ugly old horned toad.
He placed spiders of every description
Under rocks by the side of the road.
Then he ordered the sun to shine hotter,
Hotter and hotter still.
Until even the cactus wilted
And the old horned lizard took ill.
Then he gazed on his earthly kingdom
As any creator would
He chuckled a little up his sleeve
And admitted that it was good.
‘Twas summer now and Satan lay
By a prickly pear to rest.
The sweat rolled off his swarthy brow
So he took off his coat and vest.
"By Golly," he finally panted,
"I did my job too well,
I'm going back to where I came from,
Texas is hotter than Hell."

- Author unknown

Too Little

2011-06-21T08:28:00.000-07:00

I was inspired by a show I saw a number of years ago, The Man Who Knew too Little, with Bill Murray. In the show, Bill Murray’s character, intending to participate in a personalized live drama called The Theater of Life, gets caught up in a real adventure of murder, intrigue and mystery.

About a year ago I decided that the storyline could be adapted to a date with my wife for a birthday or anniversary. The birthday came and went without sufficient planning to pull off the event, but as our anniversary approached I began fine tuning the details.

Ideally the scenario needs 5 or 6 actors, but we made do with 4, starring some of my children and their spouses, each dressed for the part. All got pretty caught up in their parts, one in particular with makeup to portray a dead body.

Stage One was the First Contact to start the “assignment.” I had planned a telephone message, but couldn’t quite get the machine to accept the audio so had to settle for an email message. It went like this:

“Help me Obi Wan Kenobi. You’re m only hope.”

This was Princess Leia audio from Star Wars. The second part of the message came from an internet audio reader. I picked a British/Australian female voice that said, “Be at Barnes and Noble at exactly 6:03pm. Look in the 2nd Bourne Identity book from the left.”

Our Stage Two actor placed The Rules of Jason Bourne in the appropriate book just before we arrived then waited, hidden in the stacks for us to arrive. Hand written at the bottom of the rules were the words, “FOOD COURT ASAP SIT.”

After finding the rules in the book we proceeded to the food court in the mall, unknowingly followed by the actress from Stage Two. Almost immediately after sitting at the food court, my wife with her back to the approaching actor, a newspaper was placed discreetly on our table and the actress, wearing a scarf and sunglasses, walked on.

I use the word discreetly, but I was wearing a tuxedo looking 007 outfit, my wife her slinking dress and we both were wearing sunglasses. Amazing how few looks we actually got. You wouldn’t believe some of the other outfits we’ve worn to the mall.

In this Stage Three the newspaper contained a paper rolled up inside. Originally I was going to have an airsoft gun rolled up in the newspaper also, but it was too bulky. The clue paper had a picture of a prominent landmark in town and words printed like cut out newspaper letters that said:

“REMEMBER CODE WORDS FROM THE START.”

We made our way through the mall back to the car and travelled to the landmark. I had set a time schedule for each stage of the drama, but needed to drive it ahead of time to make sure. Generally we were close.

In Stage Four at the landmark the next actress was wearing a white wig and wearing a black outfit. When my wife asked if she was our next contact, she asked for the passcode. My wife dutifully repeated, “Help me Obi Wan Kenobi. You’re m only hope.”

The contact showed us a Toppest Top Secret envelope, placed it in a briefcase and locked it. She handed me an airsoft gun, handcuffed the briefcase to my wife’s right hand and said, “Deliver this to the Institute. You know, the Institute.”

Note to self: when doing this again handcuff the case to the LEFT hand. My wife had her purse on her right shoulder, which now could not be removed; she couldn’t close her door by herself or fasten her seat belt properly.

The Institute was not very far away and we arrived easily 10 minutes early. We drove a few blocks away to allow the scene to be set. Our Stage Five contact, as we arrived, was seen, apparently dead (with great makeup) on the grass. Clutched in her hand was a blood-stained note. After we pried it from her hands we determined that it contained GPS coordinates in Spanish.

My wife translated the numbers (with a little help from me) and I put them into the GPS I had conveniently brought with us. Actually I had input the coordinates previously to save time. Here again, note to self: Go to the actual location sometime earlier and get the EXACT coordinates instead of trusting that the internet website is right, then try them at least once.

I had started our car and faced it towards the exit of the parking lot so that my wife would not see our Stage Five “dead” contact get up and run to her car to join her husband. At this point I announced to my wife that we were being followed. We drove away from the parking lot with the intent to “lose them” in a nearby parking garage. Unfortunately I went the wrong way and the chase car got stuck at the light. Since they knew where we were going they actually beat us there, but, not seeing us, proceed to the final location at Stage Seven.

Upon arriving at Stage Six, we, of course, were supposed to be unaware that we were no longer being followed and made our tire screeching trip to the top of the parking garage and back down again. This did have the added advantage of helping the GPS to get a good satellite fix.

On the way to Stage Seven, the GPS coordinates were not exact so I drove into the Applebee’s parking lot anyway. Our final contact was there dressed similar to me. He asked if my wife had something for him and she said it was locked in the case. He told her that the combination was a very important date for us. It was the combination in two digit month, day and year of our anniversary.

My wife opened the briefcase and handed him the sealed envelope. After opening it, he handed back a note which said, “Enjoy your anniversary dinner at Applebee’s.” The envelope also contained cash to pay for dinner, a key to the handcuffs and a note that said, “You already have a key to my heart. Here is the key to the handcuffs.”

At that point my wife and I went inside and enjoyed a delicious anniversary meal.

I put on my Facebook page that 31 years ago I made the best decision of my life and married my sweetheart. I’ve never regretted that decision.

Happy anniversary to us,

Twist

Guy Stuff

2011-04-13T14:27:00.000-07:00

Ok, so first off, I apologize to all you women who do your own mechanic work. In fact, I don't really need to apologize. You know who you are and you know you are better mechanics than I am.

Rather than pay $100 to change the radiator fluid on my little truck, I did it myself. It was less traumatic than my usual car repairs. I usually cut my fingers, get some strange fluid in my face or eyes, and spend hours on something the mechanic could do in mere minutes. I sometimes buy or replace the wrong part.

This time things went well, until I noticed the smell of radiator fluid and noticed big spots on the driveway. I was about to add more fluid, thinking it should be low, then I got smart, or luck, and decided to see where the fluid was leaking. I quickly found a leak on the large hose, bought a new one and replaced it. Right...it wasn’t quite that easy, but fairly so.

As I examined the old hose I found out why it was leaking. As you can see in the picture, there is a large abrasion on the side of the hose. That is what happens when you hose comes in contact with the pulley situated too closely to the radiator. I got creative with the hose, a shield and some wire and I think that the pulley won’t be an issue in the future.

Once again, all you knowledgeable mechanics keep your opinions to yourself about such McGyvering...unless that repair will lead to some catastrophic meltdown of my engine.

On the road once again. Oh, by the way, I replaced the power jack for my laptop so it’s on the road again, too, more or less.

Twist

You Can't be too Careful

2011-04-04T07:22:00.001-07:00

My wife and I are avid garage sale aficionados. She says that she decided this week that we qualify as professional garage salers. While this means we find many treasures hidden amongst the piles of leftovers, this also means that we have to store those many treasures somewhere. With that problem we periodically have garage sales of our own to attempt to unclutter our home. Lately we have also begun selling things on the internet, mainly through Craigslist.

Craigslist provides a free venue to post descriptions and pictures of items we want to sell in a local market. Did I mention it’s free? We have had some success selling things in this manner. My latest attempt is to sell a large monitor for a Mac computer, back and middle seats to a Chrysler Voyager van and a very new motorized wheelchair.

I posted descriptions and pictures of each item and shortly emails began arriving asking if each was still available. In an attempt to be fair to all, I answer emails in the order they arrive. For future reference I will mass email all and give more detailed contact information then sell on a first come first serve basis.

The wheelchair was the most expensive item. Quickly I received an inquiry regarding it. After replying I received another email requesting more information, then another requesting additional pictures. Soon the potential buyer wanted information for a shipping company he contacted to ship the item. I don’t offer shipping, normally. It was exciting anticipating such a sale.

Soon I got an email from Paypal stating a payment had arrived. That’s when things got weird. The email stated that since a third party carrier was involved in the shipping, the funds would not be released until they had notification of payment of over $300 to the carrier. That’s also when the bells began ringing. Scam alert! I emailed the buyer to let him know that I would not fall for this scam and that I was forwarding copies of all the emails to Paypal Security. Amazingly enough, I know, but I have not heard any more from buyer or carrier. The sad part is that if he had perpetrated the scam smarter I would have shipped the wheelchair (on his nickel) to him and would not have received a valid payment. Now, however, I’m another day older and another day smarter, hopefully, and will avoid potential scammers in the future.

Stay strong. Stay aware,

Twist

Walking

2011-03-15T14:07:00.000-07:00

I’ve always loved to hike in the wild. Unfortunately, the wild has usually been far from where I live. My preferred path would be no trail or, perhaps, a rabbit trail. Where the foliage does not allow simple cross country ambulation I defer to the beaten path. In the city, usually grass is preferable to the street.

While walking, I watch the ground for signs (animal tracks and such for you city folks), interesting rocks, plants and whatever else catches my eye or stirs my imagination. I tracked a deer through a twisting turning maze of honeysuckle one year. As a youngster I came across a horned toad skull. It looked for all the world like a miniature buffalo skull. In Kentucky I scouted for morel mushrooms that are prized by all fungi collectors.

City walking, while there is occasional nature to be seen, usually results in finding mostly man-made treasures in the road. If you want to collect aluminum cans for about a nickel a piece there is a limitless supply. When I walk the roads I pick up the more solid items that could puncture a tire. I collect the nails, screws and bolts that lay strewn along the road. Occasionally I drop them down the water meter key holes, but usually throw them away at home. The largest item I picked up was a six foot piece of rebar.

This week as my wife and I were walking I noticed a small shiny card on the road that turned out to be a driver’s license. Though the address was on the card, I couldn’t find a phone number online or in the phone book. In this modern age of technology, however, I did find the girl listed on Facebook and sent her a message. We even had a mutual FB friend.

When the mother picked up the license she told me that her daughter left her wallet and car keys in the car, unlocked, apparently. Someone stole the car and wrecked it. They probably emptied the wallet of anything valuable and threw it away, or at least the driver’s license. The license might have been useful except it was a provisional license for a minor and expires in a few more months.

I’ve learned from all this. If you need a piece of rebar, go for a walk. Lock your car. Take your keys. Hide your valuables. Oh, wait. That last bit is from the sign at the mall, but I guess it’s still sound advice.

I wonder what I’ll find today,

Twist

Say Again, Louder, Please

2011-01-21T17:32:00.000-08:00

About six months ago I notice a significant hearing loss in my right ear. It was about the same time as a one hour static laden session on the ham radio and a summer of swimming. I don’t know if either thing caused the loss or if it was just time.

While I didn’t routinely listen to loud music as a teenager, dances always played music too loudly and I remember occasionally sitting directly in front of the speakers. I had a pistol from the time I was sixteen and back in those days nobody talked about ear protection while shooting. Later, I worked outside with lawn mowers, weed eaters and other loud equipment. These are all contributing factors to hearing loss.

The graph above shows my hearing range. The green line is the level for normal hearing. It is a straight line. The red line shows the hearing in my left ear. The right line shows the hearing in my right ear. Even though the lines are fairly close together, the differences are exponential. The dip in the upper mid range is where my hearing loss is most apparent. The ENT specialist was only surprised that only my right ear was at that level. Usually both ears deteriorate in hearing at pretty much the same rate.

Rather than getting hearing aids at this time, I’ll just compensate like I do with my contacts. I wear both of them if I watch a 3D movie. I wear one if I’m driving anywhere, especially at night. Most of the time I go au natural...ocularly speaking, and don’t notice any difference or problem. I now walk with my wife on my left side to hear her better. I hold the phone to my left hear and I will increase the occurrences of saying, “What?” or “Say that again, please.”

One really good piece of advice came from the ENT. If you wake up one morning and suddenly can’t hear in one or both ears, immediately call a specialist. Do not even wait a day or a weekend. If that is treated quickly, much or all of your hearing can be returned. Unfortunately, if you wait you lose that opportunity.

Ah, life. What doesn’t wear out, fall out, stop working or sag, usually just gets in the way, but if that all didn’t happen, none of us would ever want to leave.

Twist

Twist's Rules

2010-12-07T17:37:00.000-08:00

I've been a fan of the rules of Jason Bourne and Gibb's rules from NCICS. With that in mind, I decided to print my list of rules as I've compiled them so far:

1. You can never have too many ways to make light or start fire.
2. Never go anywhere without a knife...or two or three.
3. You can never have too many pockets.
4. The best thing to use to pick a lock is a key, even the wrong key.
5. Save it for a rainy day, it’s of no use when thrown away.
6. Take time to tie a knot right and you won’t worry later.
7. Carry a harmonica with you wherever you go.
8. If you’re going to tell a tale, make it as tall as you can.
9. Talk to your animals. You’d be surprised what they have to say.
10. I may not always be right, but I’m never wrong
11. You have to grow old, but you don’t have to grow up.

If you know of any more of my rules, let me know,

Twist

Interesting Times

2010-10-24T14:46:00.000-07:00

There's an old Chinese curse, "May you live in interesting times." This has definitely been an interesting year. I haven't been hired for any of the jobs where I submitted applications. A good friend of mine went through an illness and six months in the hospital then passed away. I took care of is house, cats and yard during that time. I made all the arrangements for his memorial service which we had yesterday. Family and friends met, talked and received some of his estate. In two weeks we will have an estate sale and I will empty most of the house by the end of November. His ex-wife will then decide what to do with the house.

A week ago I was just called to be the Branch President of the Quaker Heights Spanish speaking branch of our Church. We don't know how many people will attend or who they are. I have two counselors now and in two weeks we will have our first set of meetings. At that point we will start calling people to staff positions in the branch. My office is getting set up with furniture, phone, etc. My wife will also attend and has been studying Spanish.

We will spend Christmas at home with our children, their spouses and children instead of travelling to Kentucky. My wife, who started a new job recently, can not take vacatin time till next year. Her grandmother will turn 104 in December. My parents will be 85 years old by my father's next birthday.

A year from now my youngest son will go on a mission for our Church, my youngest daughter will be married and my wife and I will move into the group of empty nesters.

When I retired, I didn't plan on staying retired, but simply to change careers. That is still my plan. I just didn't know that retiring will make you so tired.

Life goes on and is alway interesting,

Twist

When Ya Gotta Go

2010-08-15T15:42:00.001-07:00

I love to kayak. I'm not one of those death defying whitewater people. I just like to tote my boat to wherever I feel like floating and put it in the water. I paddle around the dock, the dam, the island, the ducks, go by kids on the playground or wherever the mood directs.

Friday I got out early and went fishing as well. I was rewarded after about an hour with being pulled around by a stout little 4lb bass. I thanked him by letting him go when I was done. As tired as I was I decided to check out a geocache in the middle of another lake. That lake had flooded recently and I believe that the cache, a pill bottle, floated away in the flood, but I spent about 30 minutes paddling around the island looking for it anyway. I returned home and emailed the person who hid the cache and asked if he had visited it since the flood. I haven't heard from him yet.

The day was refreshing and tiring, but got more so that evening as I discovered that two hours after I left the second lake a man drowned there. The story was not clear, but he had evidently swum out to the island to retrieve his disabled RC boat. Had I been there at the same time I would gladly have gotten the boat for him. Would that have saved him? Would he have still drowned? Would he have taken me with him? Don't know. This much I do know, when it's your time to go, you go.

Glad I haven't felt the urge,

Twist

Father Knows Best

2010-08-12T07:24:00.001-07:00

Nathan: I can climb over the fence and get the ball.
Me: No. It's not safe. There's a big dog over there.
Nathan: I've done it before. The dog's not there.
Me: It's a big dog. It's not safe.
Nathan: I've done it before. It's no big deal.

He climbs over the fence and disappears.

BIG Dog: WOOF! WOOF!

Ball sails back over the fence.

Nathan sails over the fence....mostly. As he unhooks clothing caught on the fence:

Me: I guess you'll listen to your Dad more often...

Dxing

2010-07-16T09:16:00.000-07:00

At first glance you might think this blog is about some obscure Chinese or Mayan word. Now, really. A Mayan word would start with Dz and probably not end with the "g". Those in the know are aware that the term "Dx" stands for long distance as it applies to ham radio. With a good ham radio capable of operating on frequencies between around 2Mhz to 10Mhz, a licensed operator can make contacts hundreds and thousands of miles away.

Ham radio equipment is not cheap and usually isn't space convenient. Like hospitals and government, a ham shack is usually continually expanding. You generally start with a radio and an antenna. The radio usually needs a separate power supply. Most antennas aren't perfectly adaptable to changing frequencies and an antenna tuner is needed to make the antenna work well. Since operators like to know how much power they are generating they have a separate power meter or one incorporated into the antenna tuner. When hams (a licensed ham radio operator) notice how little power their meter shows they are transmitting, they decide to add a linear amplifier. A linear amplifier increases their signal output from usually about 100 watts up to 1000 watts or more, even though the Federal Communications Commission has rules limiting the output on certain frequencies to much less than 1000 watts.

Hams are always looking for ways to make their antennas higher, longer, thicker, thinner, more directional, more omni-directional and generally more functional. These endeavors lead to greater output...from their wallets and more input from their wives and neighbors. Contrary to the rumors, a properly tuned rig (combination of all ham radio equipment) should not interfere with neighbor's tv reception.

The number of radios in the shack magically multiply. The Dx equipment, for HF (high frequency) radio, is overkill for local communications. Ham operators usually accumulate a variety of radios that include VHF equipment for local to medium range and often UHF equipment for very local communications. Radios range from large base units to mobile units that fit in a vehicle to hand held (HT or handie talkie) units that can be clipped to a belt.

The most important requirement of a ham radio system is the most logical one. You must have someone, somewhere to talk to you. It's not much fun having half of a tin can telephone. It gets really boring really fast. Add the second person component and hams will talk endlessly about to others describing their rig in detail, then letting the other person describe their equipment and layout.

Personnally I prefer to use a radio similar to a telephone. I like to talk to family, friends and others about topics I would discuss over the phone. Why not use a phone, some would ask. When emergencies arise and power is out, hams are usually the voices that are heard through the airwaves coordinating rescue efforts. That standard answer aside, it's just cool to talk over equipment that is not taxed, charged by the minute or impeded in general by someone else.

Currently only one member of my family has a license, Lonehawk. He and I attempted a few times to connect. When we finally established communication, it worked better than we thought it would. Granted, we had to wait till 11pm CDT to do it, but there is something calming about hearing the familiar voice in the darkness that you know is hundreds of miles away. True, the call usually starts out, "I can hear you. Can you hear me?" but the sense of accomplishment makes it all worthwhile. The world isn't quite as large as it once was and at least one conversation less lonesome.

73's

Twist

Twi Dilemna: Edward vs. Jacob

2010-07-01T15:13:00.000-07:00

Stop by any conglomeration of two or more females these days and you will likely hear a heated debate in progress: Team Edward vs. Team Jacob. If you have never read any of the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer, then you will most assuredly be in the dark about the discussion.

Suffice it to say that Jacob, a teen werewolf (Hmm, I think that’s actually been done before. Anyone ever heard of Michael J. Fox?) and Edward, an immortal, vampire teen, are the heartthrobs of every reader possessing ovaries. Forget the fact that both were always considered monsters throughout history that slaughtered mortals in a very bloody manner. We are to forget that a snake is a snake and accept that both these individuals are different from what we have learned. In fact, we are supposed to accept that they are different from others of their kind in the series.

Edward, who can hear every thought of every person except, of course, his mortal girlfriend, is evidently the perfect man, the perfect boyfriend. I tell all my guy friends who have not read the Twilight series that if they want to understand how the female mind works they need to read these books. I’m not saying that women understand men, but that they think Edward and Jacob are nearly perfect.

I read the series, plus another book by Stephanie Meyer called The Host. I enjoyed that book as much as, if not more than, the Twilight books. I’m definitely a Stephanie Meyer fan and will read other books she writes, but let me just state for the record that I am not for Team Edward or Team Jacob. They, along with Bell, are both neurotic and exhibit the normally female self-destructive behavior.

Make no doubt about it. With her looks, talent, strength and she can see the future, I am 100% aboard for Team Alice

Twist

An Apple a Day

2010-06-21T18:33:00.000-07:00

Since I retired last year, though I'm looking for a new career, I have thought many times about health care. Our current president has not improved the situation, but, if anything, has made things worse. I will not go into politics here, but rather will only comment on the state of things as I see them.

When I retired, I was able to keep my same health insurance, a great blessing to us since there are still 4 of us living at home. At age 65 most insurance drops off so that Medicare can take over. Correct me if I'm wrong, but why would your insurance make you go to less coverage at the time of your life when you seem to need medicines and doctors most. My parents and in-laws pay 3-5 times as much as I do on prescription medicines each month.

I was reading the Bible and came across a scripture that shows that the problems with doctors are as old as time. Referring to the woman with the issue of blood that touched Jesus' garments and was healed, Mark 5:26 says that she "had suffered many things of many physicians, and had spent all that she had, and was nothing bettered, but rather grew worse."

A good friend of mine is currently in the hospital awaiting treatment that will actually fix his problem. He started with an aortic aneurism, had leakage from the stent, has now suffered a punctured esophagus and has been told he has too much scar tissue for a feeding tube while his esophagus would heal. There is still or again leaking of blood internally which puts him on a slow decline into anemia. While the medicos confer with each other and him, he is closer to passing from this life every day.

Over the nearly 4 months my friend has been fighting for his life, I can only imagine the medical bills that are accumulating. My friend, my parents and I are all in agreement that we’d rather not ever go through another surgery. It would be nice if we could avoid the need just by wishing it be that way.

Paul Harvey used to always say, “There’s no sense worrying. None of us are going to get out of this world alive.”

Good thing that the pains and sufferings in this life are so temporary and that eternity is free from all of that.

Got to go eat my every day apple,

Twist

Sorry, About That...

2010-06-13T15:12:00.001-07:00

As our stake is converting over to the new member involved cleaning of the buildings, our family was selected as one of the first to start the program. We have cleaned the building before, but not to the extent that is now the program. The list of those to clean during June has been on the bulletin for the past several weeks. We duly noted the cleaning and time on PDAs, calendar and notes. Our turn was Saturday at 9am. Three families are scheduled each week to clean, one from each ward. The cleaning is well organized and well planned. Unfortunately it was not well reminded, at least to us. Due to a neighborhood garage sale at Jenni’s area then temple service later we totally forgot about the cleaning until 9pm. We hurried over to the church, just in case no one had cleaned, but found it done very well. Helen and I agreed, we owe a couple of families a plate of brownies. I advised the Bishop of our dereliction of duty and promised to do better in the future.

Guess we’ll get out the baking pans and mixes,

Twist

The Royal Nonesuch

2010-05-08T08:11:00.000-07:00

If you have ever read The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, by Mark Twain, you are sure to remember a couple of characters that crossed Huck’s path by the names of the Duke of Bridgewater and King Looy the Seventeenth of France. They were a pair of scoundrels if ever Mark Twain wrote of any. At one point in their time with Huck, they decided to put on a production of The King’s Camelopard or The Royal Nonesuch. The second title better fit the so called Tragedy as the scene played out in this manner:

“he rolled up the curtain, and the next minute the king come a-prancing out on all fours, naked; and he was painted all over, ring-streaked-and-striped, all sorts of colors, as splendid as a rainbow.”

The production was a scam which went very bad on the next night.

You might also remember the scene from the movie Mr. Mom in which the housewives basically shanghai Michael Keaton and take him to a strip club featuring male strippers.

These two references may appear to the casual reader to be totally random and unrelated, but I assure you they are quite relevant to the setting in which I found myself last night.

The teachers and staff at the elementary school where my wife works decided to go en masse to a play at a small theater in a nearby small town. The play featured two actors in The Mystery of Irma Vep, by Penny Dreadful. The main reason they wanted to go is that one of the two actors is a teacher in their school.

The Mystery of Irma Vep has approximately half a dozen characters, male and female, which are all played rather flamboyantly by the two male actors. The over-endowed female characters wear extravagant drag outfits which in some cases would put The Bird Cage actors to shame.

The plot entails werewolves, vampires, mummies and a great deal of confusion, but as the Duke and the King of Huckleberry Finn’s experience, there is a great deal of humor. I would not accuse them of overacting. I would never do that. I wouldn’t have to even mention it for anyone who saw the play. Let’s just say that Jim Carrey and Chevy Chase might have felt like amateurs in comparison to the actors of The Mystery of Irma Vep.

If the acting on stage has been adequately portrayed here by me, then you might be able to also picture the antics of the teachers and staff. The second reference from Mr. Mom would most accurately describe the audience around me at the play. The only exception would be that no one stuffed dollar bills down the entertainer’s clothing...at least, not that I saw. Feet stamped on the floor, raucous laughter, cat whistles, yelled comments and rolling in the aisle was the norm, and that was just my wife on one side of me and a friend on the other.

We started the evening by driving 45 miles to a small restaurant to eat dinner. We brought somewhere between 25 and 40 people to the town for dinner and the play. I ordered a banana milk shake to go with my bacon cheeseburger and onion rings. My wife had at least half of my milk shake after tasting how good it was. When the play was over we returned to the drive in, but they had shut down their milk shake ice cream machine. We found a Sonic drive in that was still open and got a few milk shakes there then undertook our return journey of 45 miles home arriving at about 10:30pm.

All in all it was an interesting day to say the least. I know all my female relatives and readers would have enjoyed the evening. Just like most of you think Julia Roberts is the most beautiful actress and love chocolate.

‘Nuff said,

Twist

Field Day

2010-04-24T16:12:00.001-07:00

Today was Field Day for Texas Army MARS. That stands for Military Auxillary Radio System. This was also our Ward/Stake Preparedness Fair Day. Originally I was supposted to set up a display of my 72 hour kit. Unfortunately, the other 2 people doing the same thing took up all the table space.

I decided just to kill two birds with one stone (not the two who used up the tables) and I set up another table with my ham radio equipment. My friend and Zone Coordinator, Ted, joined me while we tried different cables and antennas to talk to people several hundred miles away...or not. We contacted the others during one hour, then couldn't raise anyone till the Field Day was over, at which point we joined a long distance ham radio net (chat). I used a weighted tennis ball on a rope to put our antenna up to the tops of the parking lot lights.

All in all it was an interesting day. Technolog is amazing, even if it's old.

Twist, N50GY ham license

The Next Samurai

2010-03-18T20:44:00.000-07:00

I like to read books. Not like my wife, who reads several books a month, but I still like to read. I like to take my time reading a book to savor it, live in its pages as long as I can. A good author makes me remember experiences I have had and makes me feel as if I am experiencing something I never have before.

When I read a good book I feel the cool, oozing river mud between my toes and practically choke on the foul smell of decay that rises from the brackish slime. When a wizard sends forth a spell from his wand, staff or hand the hair on my head and arms stands on end from the sheer power passing by and my teeth vibrate as the power impacts with its prey.

Many authors satisfy my literary tastes, though I prefer fantasy with magic, swords and mythical creatures, I also delight to read science fiction with its tantalizing view of the world that is about to materialize in a not so distant future.

A friend of mine loaned me a book that does not fit any of these categories, nor does it satisfy the literary taste buds, but it did give me so much to consider that I find myself reading, re-reading, highlighting text and then pondering its applications. While this appears to be a reading ritual you would undertake with the scriptures in hand, the actual book is far from the divine word.

A Book of Five Rings, written by Miyamoto Musashi, is basically a how to book for the Samurai warrior. The chapters entail lessons on how to fight and defeat your enemy. Having said this, most every Japanese businessman has a copy of this book that he keeps with him and studies.

One of the first pearls of wisdom offered is this: Carry a long sword to fight enemies, but also carry a companion sword (short sword) for when the fighting gets up close and personal.

As I have read through the book I can see applications to life in many of the techniques taught for sword fighting. There are many parallels that can be drawn from these examples that can be effective in all aspects of life, but especially in business.

The automobile industry and others have often wondered how the Japanese operate so well. Maybe the CEOs of those and other companies should get a copy of A Book of Five Rings and do a little studying of their own.

Twist

The Rules of Jason Bourne

2010-03-02T11:23:00.000-08:00

I just finished reading the 3 books in the Bourne series by Robert Ludlum, then watched the movies. The movies are only vaguely based on the books, but still fun to watch. Throughou the series, Jason Bourne repeats to himself and tells others his basic rules of being a spy. I thought the rules applied to other areas, so I compiled a list. Here is what I noted down:

1. You are not helpless. You will find your way
2. Instinct. Follow your instincts, reasonably, of course
3. Don’t crucify yourself
4. Nothing can be disregarded
5. To blend in, change your appearance, your hair your face.
6. Read the newspapers every day.
7. Stay controlled.
8. The success of any trap lies in its fundamental simplicity.
The reverse trap by the nature of its single complication must be swift and simpler still.
9. Use an advantage given to you.
10. Do the unexpected. Confuse the enemy, throw him off balance.
11. Don’t run. Running identifies you as a target.
12. Opportunities will present themselves. Recognize them, act on them.
13. Don’t make your moves when you’re tired or exhausted. Rest is a weapon. Use it. Don’t forget it.
14. Work on the visual. It’s more effective than anything else. People will draw the conclusions you want on the basis of what they see far more than from the most convincing lies you can tell them.
15. Study everything. You’ll find something you can use.
16. The cleanest escape is one done in stages, using whatever confusion there is.
17. Establish a benign contact as soon as you can. Especially in an unfamiliar face where there could be hostility. The contact could give you the opportunity or the time you need.
18. Avoid elevators whenever you can. They’re traps.
19. Your first reflections are the best, the most accurate, because the impressions are stored in your head, like the information in a data bank. That’s what your head is.

If you noticed any rules I missed, let me know.

Twist

A Day in the Life

2010-02-22T09:20:00.000-08:00

I don’t lead a boring life, not really. I’m not a creature of habit either. I prefer to think that I have a structured, organized life. Some of my time is scheduled for me by others, some things just seem to happen randomly..on a daily basis.

I start my day by hitting the snooze alarm at 5:30am. I hit the snooze because my wife does not want to wake up at 5:30am, but she does want the alarm to go off at 5:30am. At 5:37am I hit the button on the alarm clock again and nudge my wife to get up because she doesn’t always hear the alarm the second time. She usually doesn’t hear it the first time either. At that point I switch the alarm to the dual setting which will go off at 6:10am and I go back to sleep.

At 6:10am I hit the alarm again and get up. As I get up and turn on the closet light to get dressed, I seem to hear 3 little muffled voices coming from the dogs that appear to say, “Turn out that light...” at which point the dogs continue not moving and go back to sleep. I dress, hoping my shoes and socks match then go into the living room where we say prayer and then I take my son to seminary, picking up two boys on the way. I then return home and get in the hot tub for a few minutes.

My wife leaves about 7:00am to go to school too early for a job that doesn’t pay her anywhere near what she’s worth. M-W-F my daughter sleeps in until almost noon then goes to work. T-Th she also leaves at 7:00am for college. The dogs and I have a peaceful morning. I start mine by reading scriptures. I’m on a long term project reading the Bible in Spanish. I’m almost done with the Old Testament.

At 8:00am I try to join a radio net, like a chat room on the ham radio, for Texas Army Mars. This is an auxiliary of the Texas State Guard that assists in emergency communications in times of disaster or military emergency. There are usually about a dozen of us around the state who talk together, but the network includes over a hundred other ham radio operators. The net lasts an hour.

At 9:00am I either start errands, chores or watch TV, you can guess what the default activity is. In the last year I worked through all 10 seasons of Stargate SG-1. While watching anything I go through jobsites online. I have come to understand the statement of a middle aged bachelor friend of ours from Omaha who said, “As I get older I find I get more particular and less desirable.” There are ruts that form while looking for work. Those ruts usually keep the search from veering in different directions. I firmly believe I need to be looking for work somewhere different, but I seem to have settled into believing THE job is at one of the companies I look check out daily.

Sometimes I run errand for and with a handicapped friend. He can no longer get either himself or his wheelchair in and out of his vehicle without help. At 12:40pm I pick up my son from school and we go home for lunch. If my friend and I go to lunch, we are gone a couple of hours, otherwise my son and I eat then watch a movie. We do things outside if the weather is good. I’ve kayaked, fished and done yard work, depending on the mood.

My underpaid wife gets home any time from 4:00pm to 6:30pm, depending on how the school decides to use her time. We then eat dinner with up to 11 of our children and grandkids depending on what we are having and who is available. Evening activities depend on whether we need to go to the store or not. If not, we watch something. If we need to go to the store, we may record something.

Around 10:00pm we read scriptures together as a family, say prayers and share hugs. If we are awake enough we hot tub before bed, then start the routine all over again.

I’d write some more about extracurricular activities, but it’s time to go pick up my son. I actually have an alarm on my watch for that.

Twist

Winter Fun

2010-01-28T14:34:00.000-08:00

Just thought I'd post of few pictures I took in our backyard today. We had quite an intense winter storm. It start by dropping over an inch of freezing rain then changing to snow with over 4 inches so far. (Don't laugh you mountain folks.) That was too much temptation and we all hopped in the hot tub. The water is about to overflow because my youngest son ducked under the water just before the camera snapped the pictures.

I had to include a couple of pictures of our Ent tree faces. We thought they it was funny, but it turns out it'snot. Ok, really it is funny and they are just icicles.

PS, my son and I did snow angels then popped back in the tub.

Twist

More Canes

2010-01-25T16:28:00.000-08:00

My wife and I have been married almost 30 years now. Shortly after we married her grandmother moved from a house to a one room apartment. She either gave away or sold a house full of belongings that had accumulated over many years. One of the things that she gave us was a pair of crystal door knobs.

I've thought for all those years about what to do with them and for most of that time wanted to make a couple of canes. I finally broke down the other day and got energetic. I took an old tool handle, cut it and stained it, then got a piece of copper pipe fitting. I put it all together and the results were pretty nice. I think I still need to add a coat or two of varnish, but right now it's more or less finished. I like how it turned out.

I don't need to use it, but might just to be fashionable.

Twist

ET...Find Home

2010-01-13T10:10:00.000-08:00

When you mention a GPS these days most people picture a small LCD screen in their car with a voice that tells them where to turn on the way to their desired destination. Most of these have been given a name by their owners, mine is Gypsy Rosalie, with a play on GPS and a Twilight influence. We opted for the personality with a British female accent.

Our GPS does not have as much personality as my sister’s does. Over in Ireland they use their navigational aid extensively, but one time kept making detours contrary to the directions to see the sights. Finally their GPS said, “I’m afraid you are going to have to work with me a bit, dearie.”

It’s amazing how much we use the GPS just around town when we know exactly where we’re going. I think it’s a Star Trek thing in that we like our computers to talk to us as if they are really as smart as we wish. My laptop has a feminine voice as well to this end. It’s very comforting as I shut it down when it talks to me.

Many people have forgotten the original, yet more portable GPS receivers used by people out of doors, usually hunters or hikers. A small handheld GPS receiver can guide you to your favorite camping, hiking or fishing spot to within about 5 feet. There’s a new low end features unit that will help you find your way back to your car in a parking lot. For its price, though, you can rather buy the real deal. I own a Garmin Legend. The Etrex is a little cheaper for those on a more limited budget.

In addition to find places, there are a number of other things you can do with a good GPS. My brother-in-law likes a game called “Fox and Hound” played with multiple GPS units, multiple vehicles and radios. The idea is for the fox to leave first then call period coordinates as he travels. The hound then tries to catch up or anticipate where the fox will go and catch the fox. The fox must take regular stops to allow the capture.

Another entertaining thing to do is geocaching. Someone hides a container, usually. This may also be a virtual cache where you find a spot, but no physical cache. Normally, though, someone hides a container. The container can be literally any size. The smallest I’ve seen was the size of my fingernail. Larger containers are usually something like Tupperware or an ammo box. Inside the box are a log book and goodies. These goodies are usually just trinkets with no real monetary value.

This cache is hidden somewhere...anywhere. The coordinates and description are posted online. My favorite website is www.geocaching.com. You look for a cache near you, enter the coordinates into your GPS, then take off. The GPS will tell you what direction to travel and how far away it is. When you get within 5-30 feet depending on the accuracy of your GPS and the one who hid the cache, you start looking for hiding places under rocks, in pipes, in hollows of trees or magnetic containers stuck to signs or structures.

Once you locate the container you log your visit and trade a trinket from your pocket for one in the cache. Some trinkets are called travel bugs and you log where you pick it up and where you later drop it off so that people can track its progress. When you return home from your trek you go online again to www.geocaching.com and log that you found the hidden container and what items you traded.

It’s amazing to think that you can find an object hidden anywhere in the world as small as your fingernail with the aid of a GPS and a great deal of satisfaction comes from doing it. Some caches incorporate riddles or puzzles to solve the location. There is a much larger group doing this than you might think. Some people I have known like to do it at night to make it more challenging. Others locate the hidden cache using topographical maps and compasses. That requires more skill and patience than I have, plus I love gadgets.

Imagination in the hiding leads to pleasure in the finding, kind of like most everything enjoyable in life.

Happy trails,

Twist

It's for You.

2010-01-03T15:41:00.000-08:00

I spent twenty-five years talking on the phone for work. I’d call customers or they’d call me. For seven years my calling in Church dealt with calling members to either set up an appointment, get answers to questions, or relay information. Now that I’m retired, I still seem to be on the phone all the time.

Phones don’t bother me much, but I try to avoid them when possible. I’m not alone. It seems that everyone in my family is afflicted with the same syndrome. When the phone rings a barrage of “Not me’s” goes through the house. If no one is expecting a call, no one wants to answer the phone. My wife is very much averse to speaking on the phone. If we need to call one of our children the conversation goes something like this:

Wife: Call (add name of child) and ask them (fill in the topic.)
Me: Why don’t you call them?
Wife: I don’t feel like talking on the phone.
Me: Whatever.

I call (add name of child.)

Me: What are you doing?
Child: Nothing.
Me: Ok, bye.
Wife: Wait! Ask (add name of child) if they want to come over for dinner.
Me: Do you want to come over for dinner?
Child: Sure.
Me: Ok, bye.
Wife: Wait! When can they come?
Me: When can you come?
Child: Soon.
Me: Ok, bye.
Wife: So, when are they coming?
Me: Soon.
Wife: What does that mean? What time are they coming?
Me: Soon.
Wife: Did you ask them what they were going to bring?
Me: No, you didn’t say to ask them to bring anything.
Wife: Are they bringing the movie they borrowed?
Me: I don’t know. Are they supposed to do it?
Wife: I can’t believe you don’t ask all the questions.
Me: I don’t know why you don’t call them yourself.
Wife: I don’t like to talk on the phone.
Me: Right....

Ring, ring....

Not me,

Twist

On the Open Road

2010-01-01T17:06:00.000-08:00

My wife and I have families on opposite sides of the country with us in the middle. Periodically we travel to visit one or the other spending 16 to 22 hours in the car on average depending on which direction we drive. Road conditions affect our timing, but we usually have great weather. One year we sat nearly 6 hours in traffic jams waiting for emergency crews to clear the interstate.

After nearly 30 years of marriage, we have our trips down to a routine. We get audio books to pass the time while the kids watch movies or read books. We know the gas stations we need for the best location and price. We know where most of the Taco Bells are located, though our GPS Rosalie knows where the rest are.

If there are sights we want to visit along the way, we leave early, if not, we drive all night and usually straight through. Part of my routine in packing the van is to declare over and over that everything will not fit in the van, even though it usually does. My family always tells me to tie things to the luggage rack on top of the van. I have to explain that it’s not a luggage rack. It’s a canoe/kayak rack that serves its purpose well.

There is an aspect to our trip planning and packing that always goes awry. We start planning snacks to eat along the way. It always starts small. Usually the few packs of gum, mints and sodas fit in a single grocery bag. Then we buy the rest. We get popcorn and snack mix. We buy cookies. We get some beef jerky. You can’t leave without some water for each person. We add some fruit in case we are in a healthy eating mood. The orange candy circus peanuts are yummy and the kids like eating nerds or MMs. Definitely remember the chocolate.

By the time we are ready to go we have a large picnic cooler full of snacks and a few more within an arm’s reach stashed strategically around the vehicle. We never eat it all while we travel. We often don’t need to stock up before returning home. It’s not wasted, though, because that red cooler turns into my private snack vault when I go visit family. I always have what I need to satisfy my sweet tooth while away from home. If I’m really lucky I also have enough for a personal stash when I get home.

Come to think of it, I need to go check behind the oatmeal in the cupboard for the stash of mint chocolate chip Oreos.

Twist

Jack of All Trades

2009-12-18T07:28:00.000-08:00

There is a saying that someone may be a Jack of All Trades. Another version says, "Jack of All Trades, Master of None." Maybe the second one fits me best lately. Since I retired in March I have done several types of odd jobs to make a little money.

I didn't really look for a job for several months, but once I started looking I didn't do much finding. It's not that there aren't lots of jobs out there, but many don't pay much or require specialized training and experience.

I have applied to be a a secretary with the school district, a small business advisor, a grant auditor, a software customer service rep and a couple of other positions I don't remember anymore. Needless to say, I did not get any of those jobs. In fact, I haven't even had an interview for anything yet. Age discriminaton may be a factor, but for every job posted there are usually dozens of applicants. What I really want to do for a living is be a writer, but that market is equally hard to enter.

When I retired I knew that my retirement income was not large enough to support us, but I have always intended. As the funds run low, I find myself doing what I believe my Grandpa did most of his life, he took odd jobs whenever they were offered to bring in money. I don't think I could name one thing he did that I would actually call a career, though he was a sheepherder for awhile in his younger days.

I have followed my Grandpa's example lately as I have done a number of things. I have been a stage hand, taking apart an audio/video display for a convention. I have done yard work raking leaves and trimming trees. At one house I put up the Christmas lights and will probably take them down again after the holidays. Home preservation gave me several odd jobs hauling off 1.5 tons of pipe and other debris, boarding up windows and doggie doors and securing unlocked doors. One of my latest endeavors was to assist a piano mechanic in overhauling a baby grand piano to lubricate 3 hinges for every key.

You would think, from the time spent on it, that setting up a ham radio station was my part-time job, but even when I do it for friends it's only a hobby.

I'm currently watching for an opening at the university as an advisor in the language department, but I'm still at the point where I just don't know what I want to be when I grow up. Maybe that's the problem. Once I grow up, maybe I can find something.

You've got to grow old, but you never have to grow up.

Twist

Absolutely Divine

2009-12-03T06:40:00.000-08:00

On my Improbability Trough blog, I wrote about the Divine Within and giving. While giving to others is great, there are few thrills to compare with the thrill of the hunt.

My wife and I started Black Friday at 3am. Fifteen minutes later we were in a line at Target. We estimate a minimum of a hundred or two people in front of us. The line went behind us about twice that number. An hour later an employee came down the line. We actually remembered him from last year. He asked us what we were there to buy and we told him. Oh, yes. There were plenty of the item we were there to buy. Only three people in front of us were after the same item. That was our large purchase. We also found all of the lesser expensive gifts we sought to buy.

The rush started. I don't mean the rush of shoppers, though that, too, started. I mean the shopper's rush of getting that goodie you wanted to buy. The only other rush I know to use as a comparison is the rush of winning a prize, something we do often. Whether it's endorphins or adrenaline, I can't answer, but I like the way it feels.

From Target we headed to half a dozen other stores, making repeat visits throughout the day. You have to prioritize. If an item is on a two day sale, you have to leave it for later. You must keep to a meticulous schedule to get the sales that will end at 11am. Some items were very inexpensive, most, actually, on my budget, but you still have to plan your route to get those inexpensive gifts at the inexpensive prices.

I think that at the end of the day we saved about $600. Contrary to what you might think, we did not spend much more than that same amount. We nearly doubled our value in buying. Lest you think we go way overboard for Christmas, my in-laws and grandmother-in-law all send checks to us before Christmas. We do all the shopping for our family for them, wrap the presents and put the labels on from them. They think that is well worth the price to avoid all the shopping and wrapping.

After Black Friday comes Cyber Monday. Once again we found a few more deals we didn't find in Friday's ads. Christmas is almost ready. Decoratins are going up. Purchases are arriving as scheduled in the mail and we still have over three weeks to go.

What a rush!

Twist

Merry Christmas

2009-11-29T18:29:00.000-08:00

I went to a home building supply store the other day to buy some materials. I bought some lumber, hardware and gifts which totalled to about $40. We went through the self checkout, but a worker scanned everything in for us. When she got to the hardware it was a long bolt, washer and nut which she had to look up at another register. After several minutes she told us to go ahead and swipe our debit card then enter our PIN. After doing so, the screen said our purchase was complete...in the amount of $0.21. My wife and I both told the lady 4 or 5 times that the other merchandise had not processed and that the sale was wrong. The lady smiled, winked and said, "Merry Christmas."

I spoke to my son-in-law later about this. He works at the same store and said that if there is a mistake at the check out, the workers are to let it pass in amounts under $50.00 rather than inconvenience the customers by re-ringing up the sale.

Rats. At those prices I would have bought more,

Twist

That's Why it's Called Fall

2009-11-19T17:31:00.000-08:00

I have two sycamore trees and a mimosa tree in my backyard. Did I mention that they are all BIG trees. In my front yard I have two silver maples, but there are many trees of many types down my street.

After the first freeze hit, and several more since, the leaves have been dropping everywhere. I love to see the trees that seem to lose all the leaves the same week. I have to keep sweeping the leaves away from the back door or else the dogs can't see over the pile to get to the backyard. The front yard is a little worse because the leaves also get trapped around the flower garden.

Every year I wait at long as possible because, after all, I do live in West Texas and sooner or later a good strong wind will blow most of those leaves away. I procrastinated appropriately long enough this year for that to happen. I'll still do a little cleanup in the front, but most of the front has been graciously blown clear by the wind.

The back yard does not get the wind and this afternoon found me back there with the electric wind. I have a blower/vac that does a good job. It mulches 10 bags of leaves into one bag full of mulch which I put on the compost. When I finished the yard was clean and I was not. I looked like I had been carefully sprayed with a fine layer of dust on purpose.

After all those leaves, my backyard trees look like they did before. That means I will have the wonderful opportunity in about another month to vacuum the yard again.

Remember the good old days when you just raked the leaves and burned them?

Ah, for the days of yore,

Twist

Farewell to Pat

2009-11-07T20:02:00.000-08:00

Uncle Pat just passed away tonight. About 20 minutes ago. He went to the hospital a week ago to have stomach surgery. There were many problems which pointed to things getting worse instead of better. All his organs were shutting down and he was not expected to last the weekend. I understand his family was able to be with him at the end.

When I think about Uncle Pat a lot of things go through my mind. Their dogs they have had over the years. Baseball games. Family History. Cincinnati. I remember a chicken coop in Panguitch and a belt spanking afterwards for my Kelly. Butter ice cubes. The Dugout. Mustaches and sideburns. Spam.

I once had an email folder labeled “Uncle Pat” so that all his spam emails would be directed there. I usually looked at all of them. Pat sent lots of spam, but he usually sent some good stuff. It was better than getting catalogs in the mail. You know, when you don’t have any other mail you get the catalogs. His emails were spam, but they were spam with thought put in, kind of like Grandpa’s spam and eggs for breakfast.

I only remember about three emails that were regular emails. One was about the family reunion. Two were about his surgery. They were brief. He was anxious about needing/having the surgery, but guardedly optimistic. We all do that. We have a great sense of our own mortality, but cannot accept a reality in which we no longer exist in this physical world. We can think about death, but not about us not being here anymore.

I’m going to put this on my blog for everyone to see, but I’m also going to send it in an email to my family. Send it out again as spam to people you know, just for Pat.

Miss you Uncle Pat,

Twist.

Star Track

2009-11-05T08:05:00.000-08:00

I have always been a fan of science fiction books, movies, whatever... The space travel and gadgets always tweaked the imagination, sometimes directing interests and schooling. I have, in my library of stuff filed away, plans to build a Star Trek communicator. The schematics are real electronic parts even if the specifications and capabilities are considerably exaggerated.

The shows boast medical and geological scanners, lasers, advanced computers and much more. When I was a teenager, we actually had a laser in our electronics class the size of a toaster. I now have a laser I can carry in my pocket the size of a chapstick container. Computers have advanced to near Trekkian quality in size, speed and capabilities.

One of my favorites were the report pads and books carried by the crew of Star Trek: The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine and Voyager. I have carried in my pocket for a number of years now an electronic device capable of carrying many books and doing much more and current PDAs are more powerful than that with cellular systems integrated in as well.

I read a report on Yahoo today. NASA is ready to put a device into production that is a replicator. It melts metal and reassembles it layer by layer into useful items. Here is a link to the article: http://news.yahoo.com/s/space/20091105/sc_space/devicelikestartrekreplicatormightflyonspacestation

Once again science is showing that what the mind can conceive can become a reality. We are definitely on the right track.

I get a little excited just thinking what's next,

Twist

Changing Times, or Not

2009-11-03T11:52:00.001-08:00

I have served for the past 7.5 years as the executive secretary to the Stake President in our area. It's been amazing to work with such spiritual giants and see the operations of the Church, not to mention that I seem to be in on all the workings of the Stake without much responsibility. The Presidency was call 1.5 years before they called me.

After 9 years they were released Sunday in a Stake Conference with two General Authorities attending. The 2nd counselor was called to be the new Stake President and he called a current Bishop and member of the High Council as his new counselors. This is the youngest Stake Presidency in the history of the Stake. They seem well suited to handle the unique issues of the next decade. They are all also spiritual giants.

Until last week, I assumed I was being released at the same time, then we learned that any changes for me will be determined by the new Stake Presidency. Our first meeting will be this Thursday. I have always thought that my responsibilities are to anticipate what the President needs and have it ready for him. There are other duties I have, but those may change slightly also.

I have served simultaneously in this calling and as an ordinance worker in the Temple for the same 7.5 years. I'll be just tickled pink if this goes on for another decade for me as well, but that is up to the Lord.

Just another humble servant,

Twist

Meteoric Question

2009-10-25T04:56:00.000-07:00

Ok, so at 6am this morning we saw more falling stars from the hot tub than during the peak of the meteor shower. There's nothing like watching the sky from a hot, steamy bath. Some of the meteors put on a good show.

There were a few there were a little different. I don't recall noticing them ever before. Earlier this month and again today, I saw several falling stars that must have been coming more or less directly at me. There was no trail, just a pinpoint of light that suddenly appeared, got bigger and brighter, then dissappeared. As I stated, I can only explain this if it were coming towards us.

I'm curious if anyone else has observed falling stars like this. My conclusion appears solid, but with no trail, you have to bee looking directly at the spot to see it. No, I'm not seeing things that aren't there, but I would like to know if others have "seen the light."

Twist

We Do What We Can

2009-10-23T15:56:00.000-07:00

I have a good friend that is 17 years my senior. He nearly died from an aortic anurism about 7 years ago, but was miraculously save. He has one paralyzed leg which makes it difficult for him to get around even in his motorized wheelchair. His van has been adapted to drive with his left leg and has a wheelchair lift in the back.

I drove him around a couple of days as he had cataract surgery and follow up visits. His vision increased tremendously after the surgery. We went shopping today and I drove him again. As we got home he thought he felt good enough to go for a drive, which he likes to do often. He walked around the car and got into the drivers seat. I asked him again if he was ok and he said yes. I got into my truck and drove home.

Had I been 60 seconds later driving around the block I'd have seen the results of his paralyzed foot getting caught under the brake pedal and on top of the gas pedal. I would then have seen his van careen across the street, across the neighbor's lawn and into his fence. I would have seen a pole from the fence go through his window, mess up the door and hit his leg.

He called me from the emergency room where the x-rays showed no breaks, but a pretty bad hematoma. He's home now recuperating. He's making plans to repair the door and get going again. Oh, by the way. His inspection sticker is out. His registration is expired. He has no insurance because, with so many collisions, nobody wants to insure him. I wonder how many other people out there are like my friend.

I'll do what I can, but I can't do everything.

Twist

Shoot the Moon

2009-10-09T05:26:00.000-07:00

I must be living under a rock lately. I got up at 6am this morning and turned on the news. It seems NASA has a project called the LCROSS mission. The plan is to crash a rocket into the moon, evaluate the impact debris with a satellite disconnected from the rocket prior to impact, then that satellite would then also crash into the moon. The purpose of this madness is to check for ice crystals below the surface of the moon. I'm not sure why they didn't add an explosive charge was not involved, but perhaps it was in something I did not read.

As I write this, the impact has already happened. I'm viewing a tape of what happened. Moon parties have been organized across the country to view the impact. Everyone commenting is saying the same thing. "When is this going to happen? What do you mean it's already happened? I don't see anything."

My daughter's in-laws all got up to watch. They saw even less. It's foggy and overcast here.

Yawn, the view of my backyard from the hot tub is more interesting this morning in the nice cool air.

Twist

Many Voices

2009-10-05T05:06:00.000-07:00

I have been bombarded by voices as of late. Yes, they are all real, not just in my head. These voices are not bad, either. I welcome all the dialogues I have received.

Twice a day, if I want, I can participate in a MARS, Military Affiliate Radio System, radio net. This is a practice/training net, or radio chat, to prepare for emergency communications in times of hurricanes, disasters or terrorism. There are usually about 30 participants in this net that come together from across the state. With our long range radios we can chat with others hundreds of miles away.

During this same net our local group also chats on different radios on a local frequency. This allows us to talk about the main topic for discussion with more latitude and candor.

Multiple opportunites also arise during the week to particpate in regular ham radio nets, usually all local radio operators, though, with the long range radios, I can join an endless list of nets around the country.

On Sunday nights, and throughout the week, I have the opportunity to chat online with my family. Technically, I guess these are not voices, but texts, but as I read each line of chat sent I hear in my head the voice of the person sending it. I picture them sitting at their computer smiling, typing and laughing. The worldwide web shrinks the thousands of miles around the globe that separate us, and yet cannot divide us because of the ease of contact. We laugh we discuss our parents, our families, our interests and our lives in general. You have to read fast to keep up with the up to 7 conversations that occur simultaneously at the speed of our local ISP connections.

I currently live in the same city as my children and grandchildren. We get together often and in volume. A friend of my oldest daughter came to visit one day. This friend is an only child. After a while she asked my daughter, "Is it always this noisy at your house?" I'm afraid so and happy to say it.

This weekend, I viewed the general conference of our Church. This world wide conference was broadcast over cable, tv, internet and radio. Millions of people around the world viewed the broadcast either live, on a delayed basis or on demand from the internet. They can purchase DVDs in about a month that will have the full spectrum of discourses to peruse at their leisure or read the printed word in about a month in a magazine.

All of these voices are welcome. They are informative, comforting, educational and interesting. As much as anything else, these are the voices of my life that give me perspectives on so many things. These voices mirror who I am. My lone voice in the sea of billions of other voices is still distinct, individual and personal. Though I am similar in nature to the masses, I am unique.

The voices are calling me now and I am happy,

Twist

Bread Bowls

2009-09-29T18:50:00.000-07:00

My daughter Laura came over today and we were discussing what to eat for dinner, our normal late afternoon discussion here. She had seen the pasta bowls at Domino's Pizza and thought they looked yummy. It just so happens that I purchased some refrigerator rolls yesterday for just such a contingency. We decided that one by itself would not make a very large bowl and smashed two at a time together, rolled them into dough balls and put them in the oven. For future reference that will NOT make a roll of bread sufficiently large to make a bowl thus we ate them like rolls.

I suppose a yeast roll, allowed to rise and of a larger size would work better to make a soup bowl. If anyone has had experience in this area, let me know as we would like to try making them again sometime.

The soup and bread were all good, just didn't work out as planned.

Twist

New Blog

2009-09-28T12:43:00.000-07:00

I've set up a new blog called The Improbability Trough. Check out the link on the right sidebar. The first posting pretty much sums up what it is about. Don't be thrown by the name of the author.

Twist

Good Education

2009-09-26T13:51:00.000-07:00

There's nothing like a good education. My wife received a good education, with honors in high school and college. The college education was a 2 year degree. That enabled her to get a number of jobs with decent pay. Unfortunately, many jobs require a 4 year degree to get better pay.

I actually have 2 4 year degrees, one in Spanish and one in Accounting. I am sure this helped me to get the job I had for 25 years from which I am now retired. As I look for new employment to last for another 15 years, I find that my degrees don't mean as much as they used to mean. Most jobs available require a great deal of training or special certifications, none of which I have received.

A job offer came my way this week. Home preservation. You go into a foreclosed home, change the locks, clean up, take pictures, do some minor repairs etc. I told the man I was interested, but don't know if I can do everything. He sent a worker up this weekend with 5 jobs that I could go along and watch. We broke into 2 houses, changed and changed the locks.

The 3rd house had a keybox already on it. We hauled off some junked lawnmowers, but there was still a lot of stuff left at 2 of the houses. You have to submit a bid for certain amounts of stuff. We estimated that one house had 25 cubic yards of assorted junk to haul away. A cubic yard is roughly the size of a washer or dryer.

One of the yards had weeds 7 feet high. Another yard had weeds 4 feet high. Those get bid out to cut. If someone else wanted to bid on it I guess they could, but generally the mortgage company just comes back and says do it.

I received quite an education today. Not one I could generally use in very many other professions, but I think I could do most of what was done. Other jobs coming up might be really different. My trainer started talking about need this equipment or that, a truck, a trailer, better power tools, pressurizing lines etc. My eyes didn't glaze over, but I did get the deer in the headlight look.

This was not, in my mind a wasted day. I spent 6 hours receiving an education. I think I'm going to use it to save spending $5,000 to $10,000 in equipment and see if I can't find another job, one that I might be able to continue doing when I'm 62, 63 or older.

Call me wimpy if you want, I've been called worse.
I'll be in the hot tub,

Twist

No Harm, No Foul

2009-09-23T16:11:00.000-07:00

I have been working a great deal lately to set up a ham radio station, the antenna being the most challenging part. I set up a 32' mast on top of my roof with 6 guy wires, a pulley rope to raise and lower the antenna, 2 chimney mount brackets and 2 legs of the antenna wire itself. I succeeded in communicating with people a few hundred miles away. This is an on going endeavor and needs more fine tuning, literally and figuratively.

In the process of working on the big antenna I came across plans on the internet for a digital antenna to bring in TV signals, assuming you have a converter box or digital TV already. The plans, which I'd be happy to email to anyone interested, were fairly simple and inexpensive. I substituted aluminum tubing, scavenged off an old antenna, for copper tubing. Copper tubing is not really expensive, but I already had the other. I thought that having an outside antenna on the roof might boost the picture quality since we do not have cable.

The finished product looks pretty much like it should on the designs and functions as well as the somewhat expensive antennas we already have. It does not appear to work any better, but we'll see if it has any problems operating. Meanwhile, I've hooked it up to two TV sets in conjunction with the other antennas we already had. So far I haven't seen any of those digital signal jumps, but who knows.

Main point is I had fun making it and it didn't hurt me none,

Twist

Inspiration

2009-09-17T18:01:00.000-07:00

I just read in the newspaper that Elizabeth Smart is going on a mission. The details were slightly vague, but it sounds like she leaves before the end of the year to Paris, France. I think that was a very inspired call. With the recognizability factor in the USA, she may very well simply be a face in a crowd in France. Overseas, away from the paparazzi, she will get some peace and time to lose herself in the service of the Lord. I think it will be a better healing experience than college.

I wish her well and bon voyage,

Twist

Home at the Shack

2009-09-15T16:50:00.000-07:00

This is what happens when you get grown men together who don't have enough to do. They put a 32 foot ham radio antenna mast on your roof. We spent about 4 hours taking the pole down elsewhere and putting it up somewhere else. It's mounted on the chimney, which I discovered needs $500 worth of work on the crown. No, not from anything we did. There is possibly 500' of guy line supporting the mast. I stood on the chimney at one point in the heat for so long holding the mast up, that I started feeling faint and dizzy. I had to get down and lay on the roof. I don't know if it was the heat or the strain or both, but we finally got it up. Lonehawk, this is my 80/40m antenna. If you do something similar, get lots of help.

Gottagofornow, the ham net is starting,

Twist

Time

2009-09-10T09:14:00.000-07:00

I posted a note on my facebook that my time has really been taken up lately by other things. I've been to the doctors' offices several mornings with my wife and daughter. Both have ongoing issues that nobody seems to be able to diagnose or cure. I had jury duty this morning, though once I arrived at the court I discovered everything was cancelled. Yesterday morning I spent most of 2 hours 20 feet up in trees helping a friend put up a ham radio antenna. I went to a funeral, have had numerous miscellaneous church responsibilities and regularly pickup a son from school at lunchtime. I spent an hour sanding, sawing, varnishing and nailing on a couple of shelves we bought at a garage sale for $20. (They look great. What a bargain.)

I'm not really complaining about the demands on my time. I told my wife today that it would be so totally awesome if neither of us needed to work. It is not hard to fill the day with hot tub, kayaking, hiking, reading, etc.

I love retirement. Sigh, too bad it just doesn't pay enough. Maybe I'll get a call this week for an interview.

Guess I'll check the jobs posted online...again.

Twist

Send Money

2009-08-28T14:38:00.000-07:00

I've thought many times about starting a blog requesting that any reader send me a $1 bill. You could potentially pay off all your bills. Realistically, I noticed I've only had 4 hits on this blog today. Oh, well. Good idea while it lasted. Maybe another day.

Contests are my favorite, however. Our local television station has a contest going now. They issue a numbered card to you. You watch the news and listen for them to draw a number. If it's your number, you call the next day and win. Sounds like high odds against you, but I've won it twice now. The first time they showed my commercial so many times during the next 3 years that most everyone in town knows my face. Many ask if I've won again. Now I'll tell them yes.

I love contests.

Twist

Peaceful Waters

2009-08-25T06:50:00.000-07:00

I just returned from a visit with my parents and several siblings. I travelled to Albuquerque then from there to Utah with my sister, Nene. We had an enjoyable trip there and back. I don't think conversations stopped for a solid week. The miles flew by as we travelled, in fact, we failed to notice some towns along the way.

While at my parents home we talked from morning till late at night, stories of family, urban legends, politics, religion and everything in between. We shopped at Walmart, grocery stores, second hand stores and tourist shops.

The last visit we made to my parents house found my mother barely able to walk across the room and getting tired from that simple effort. This trip, as we drove up the block to the driveway, we saw my mother, outfit accessorized with a large pink hat, running across the sidewalk across the street to avoid getting sprayed by the sprinkler. Instead of spending all her time on either the couch or the chair, she accompanied us on most of our shopping sprees.

After several weeks of chemotherapy, my mother is still feeling stronger, not nauseaus from the chemo, and still in possession of her hair. So far the only ill effects from her chemo was a sunburned nose and cheek. Spirits were high and smiles were frequent.

Although my father is still unsteady on his feet and falls somewhere every week, as we left their house to return home, we had the most peaceful farewell in a long time. While I understand that this life is temporary, as evidenced by the passing of the mother of a good friend of mine, these are experiences I count as some of the tender mercies of the Lord to our family.

Thanks, Nene, for taking me along.

Happy trails for sure,

Twist

Lubbock by Kayak

2009-08-14T11:33:00.000-07:00

Since I got my kayak I have not gotten my fill of being in it yet. Neither have I utilized my handy-dandy Texas fishing license sufficiently. I decided that when I got back from vacation I would head out with both items to engage in some serious relaxation.

My son, a teenager, was not interested in arising early enough (before 10am) during his summer vacation to get out and about. I therefore resolved to go alone into the not so wild waters of Lubbock. I packed the kayak and gear into the back of my trusty Ford Ranger pickup and left in search of water, a daunting task in West Texas. Fortunately, There are several bodies of water, I won't flatter them by calling them lakes, in the vicinity. My favorite waters include a scenic waterfall, bridges, park and dam.

I paddled away from the boat launch, though I could easily put my 39lb kayak in the water anywhere I desired, and after arriving at my designated spot, I drifted just off the shore and worked a white spinnerbait next to the cattails.

In fairly short order I had a strike. Now I'm not a small man and can easily lift or maneuver a kayak whereever I want. The 4lb, 18 inch bass I hooked also seemed to have little trouble moving the kayak, with me inside, wherever he wanted, but fortunately bass tire quickly enough. I played around and the bass jumped, splashed and swam for all he was worth, but in the end I led him into a small dip net then to a chain fish stringer. I'm all for catch and release for everyone else, but this was a huge fish and I didn't bring a camera.

I paddled around for about another hour and hooked a small bass that thought he was a big bass then decided to go home and show off. Of course I took pictures, measured weighed and bragged to my oldest son by text, my youngest son in person, my two youngest daughters by phone and in person and to a neighbor who just happened to be outside at the wrong time.

I guess the only fish I've ever caught that were bigger than this were carp, but they taste about as muddy as the river bottoms they swim on. Just for fun I watched a Youtube video on cleaning bass then looked up a recipe. I settled on rolling the fillets in corn meal and frying them. Turns out a 4lb fish has an awful lot of meat on it. I ate less than half the fish and put the rest in the fridge for later.

There's only a few things to top a day like that. I think the hot tub's calling.

Twist

Make a Wish

2009-08-10T05:31:00.000-07:00

I look forward to August each year, though not for the extreme heat or even the start of school. Ok, I do look forward to the start of school. It gets the kids busy again instead of wandering aimlessly around the house looking for something to battle the boredom. I anticipate August each year because it is the time of year when the Perseids meteor shower arrives. If you look to the northeast after dark, you can see up to 60 meteors per hour. The moon is particularly bright right now, so you just have to check and see what you see throughout the night, but the best time is supposed to be at 2am.

John Denver wrote Rocky Mountain High about this meteor shower. "You can see it raining fire in the sky." I love to go camping during this time, but rarely get to because of work. Last night I awoke between 2 and 3am and went to check the sky. Had conditions been more favorable I would have gotten in the hot tub and watched the heavens. As it was, the moon was bright through an overcast sky, conditions which make it impossible to see any stars or meteors.

You can be assured I will be checking the sky the next few nights. I'll set my alarm for 2am on August 12th. That is the peak of the showers. I'd love to be out on my parents porch watching the meteor shower. There are very few lights out there.

On an interesting side note, when a meteor goes through the atmosphere it leaves a trail. Ham radio buffs and others can bounce signals off that trail for extremely long distance communication. There are so many meteors all the time that there is an industry around this phenomena that tracks and uses these trails to transmit condensed packets of information using computers and radios to receiving stations around the world. Just a bit of trivia.

Don't forget to make a wish,

Twist

Pot of Gold

2009-08-06T17:08:00.000-07:00

Anyone who knows me knows that I love a bargain. I hit the garage sales all the time. I go to second hand stores, ebay and woot. When you find that rare treasure it is just like a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.

What I like even better, though, is winning contests. There is no substitute for that high of winning. With that said, we just won $200 on a television contest. This is a long running contest that has lasted for 4 or 5 years. In fact, I was the very first cash winner of the contest. I won $200 way back when. I love this station.

I wonder if the radio stations are playing any big contests right now...

Twist

Radio Active

2009-08-06T09:52:00.000-07:00

I good friend of mine just convinced me into applying for membership in the Texas State Army MARS radio organization. Of course I haven't been officially accepted yet, but this is a part of the Texas State Guard and assists the military in operations, especially emergencies such as hurricanes. My friend also loaned me some equipment, which I'm sure would be a while before I could afford to buy it on my own. Now I'm hoping to learn the ropes to be able to be of use to anyone. I'm also hoping more of my family will get ham radio licenses and equipment so we can talk if other means of communication are down. Lonehawk is licensed and I am looking forward to talking to him. I still have considerable adjustments to make to my antenna, but I've been able to talk to my friend on his radio already. Wow. I can talk at least a mile...

It will get better.

Twist

Too Sexy for this Blog

2009-08-04T13:52:00.000-07:00

I don't know exactly why it caught my attention, but there was a column I read the other day on what makes a guy sexy to women. It may be that all of us want to think of ourselves that way regardless of our gender, age, weight or maturity.

Here's a link to the article, but I will summarize below:

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/7-traits-of-irresistible-men-491994/

Top 7

1. Knows how to wink
2. Radiates a calm, confident presence
3. Takes care of himself physically
4. Has style
5. Wears a nice cologne
6. Is affectionate
7. Has a good sense of humor

I won't ask for comments on how I rate. My wife likes me however I am.

; ^ )

How sexy is a wink like that?

Twist

Losing My Cool

2009-07-20T06:05:00.001-07:00

I awoke at 2:30am the other day and realized there was an unusual sound going on that was what woke me. I quickly realized it was coming from the a/c vent and thought maybe the fan motor had burned out. I shut the system off and found a dusty filter was slightly bowed, indicating the system was struggling to pull air. The blower assembly is fairly new and I was afraid of how much it would cost to repair it.

I tried to go back to sleep, but quit fighting and went to Walmart. I only saw one other person in the store as I walked to the back and got my new filter. I wanted to show the repairman that I had changed it, even if a little late. 3am appears to be the optimal time to go to Walmart. Lots of parking spaces and no lines at the only checkout that was open.

I was quite relieved when I got home, replaced the filter and restarted the a/c and felt the cool air flowing again. We have had some triple digit temperatures lately. I just wish that was the end of the story.

For some time now the air conditioner has had less effect late in the day. I attributed that to poor insulation in our house, no storm windows and lots of sun. Last night the cool stopped totally. We shut off the system again and opened the doors and windows and soon the temperature matched the outside at about 86 degrees. We put in a work order for someone to come look at it Monday, but after starting it up again a couple of hours later it has worked all night. I'm hoping the repairman will say, "Oh, this was plugged. We fixed it easily." That's what I'm hoping he'll say anyway.

I'd have made a hot, sweaty pioneer.

Twist

PS

The a/c repairman came, put freon in the system and was done in less than 5 minutes. $60 later the air is cooler, but it was too late in the day and the house is already hot. I guess we'll know tomorrow if that worked.

Twist

Humble Retraction

2009-07-16T13:27:00.000-07:00

Ok, I apologize to all the drug dealers in my area. I extend my sorrow for accusing the low life, petty thieves that frequent the alleys at night. I beg forgiveness of the impoverished pot heads that need a little something that's not theirs to sell for their next fix.

It turns out that my mother-in-law's RV was not broken into, ransacked and robbed. It turns out that my mother-in-law is one of those messies whose cup not only runneth over, but covereth her goodies she doth seek. Her digital camera, camcorder, jewelry tin and tin full of colored pencils and crayons merely got avalanched to the bottom of the stack. It was hidden naturally so well not even she could find them for several days.

On the plus side, it appears that we are being sufficiently aware of securing the doors on our vehicles, house and the RV...for now.

I guess I'll have to stop the surveillance on the guy riding his bike past our house and delete the pictures of the kids walking down the street.

Paranoia may be a psychotic condition, but it does pass the time.

Twist

The Grinch Came

2009-07-14T11:03:00.000-07:00

It turns out that my nephew, Jaromy, was not the only person to come and visit on Sunday. Probably sometime during the evening before we all went to bed, someone got into my in-laws' RV and stole some valuables. They missed the laptop, but got a couple of cameras, a tin container full of jewelry and of all things, another container full of crayons and pens. The latter were in another tin and they probably thought it was another can of jewelry.

This is not the first time someone has gone through our vehicles and we try to always keep them locked. My in-laws know this and tried to keep the RV locked, but apparently missed getting it secured that day. I'm sure there's no chance of getting things back, but if we give a description to the police, maybe they will come across the stuff somewhere.

This group or individual has been hitting a number of homes around this area and probably live nearby. Someone had broken into the outdoor learning center at the elementary school and stolen the birdhouse and the bird feeder my son had put in as part of an eagle scout project. That was on mothers' day. I'm sure their mother was proud of them as they gave her the stolen items. How touching.

Oh, well. Life goes on,

Twist

Sunday Visitor

2009-07-12T18:08:00.001-07:00

We had a nice visit today from Jaromy, our nephew. He recently left Canada and is now working in Amarillo. We had quite the welcoming party for him. Our two dogs were here, along with Jenni's yorkie, Laura's two shorkies, my mother/father in-law's shih tzu and shih tzu/pekenese mix, Chris' two wolves and sheltie. About half of the dogs didn't really know each other yet and the barking was non-stop for about 30 minutes, even though the big dogs were outside.

Jaromy let leak the news that his dad will be getting the internet at home next week and will be joining the rest of the family on chat. Welcome, brother.

Speaking of chat, it's about time to join everyone online.

8 ^ )

Twist

Bittersweet Victory

2009-07-09T13:07:00.000-07:00

A month or so ago, the hot tub plug shorted out. As I researched parts available on the internet, I found that the manufacturer replacement part was $60, just for the plug. We went to a number of local electrical supply companies, but did not find an appropriate replacement. Amazingly enough, I did not check ebay till this week. Sure enough, there was a new plug for about $25. It came in the mail faster than my inlaws could travel from Kentucky. It should be up to operating temperature by the time they arrive. Unfortunately, the temperature outside has set record highs at 106 yesterday and similar today.

Wait, it hasn't heated all the way yet and is still pretty cool. Maybe the heat of summer won't be so bad for a few hours after all.

I've got to find my swim trunks.

Twist

Happy Birthday, Joyce

2009-07-03T12:04:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday tomorrow, Sis.

We Are Seven
A simple child...
That lightly draws its breath
And feels its life in every limb,
What should it know of death?

I met a little cottage girl-
She was eight years old, she said;
Her hair was thick with many a curl
That clustered 'round her head.

She had a rustic, woodland air
And she was wildly clad;
Her eyes were fair, and very fair;
Her beauty made me glad.

"Sisters and brothers, little maid,
How many may you be?"
"How many? Seven in all," she said
And wondering looked at me.

"And where are they? I pray you tell."
She answered, "Seven are we;
And two of us at Conway dwell
And two are gone to sea."

"Two of us in the churchyard lie,
My sister and my brother
And in the churchyard cottage, I
Dwell near them with my mother."

"You say that two at Conway dwell
And two are gone to sea,
Yet, ye are seven! I pray you tell,
Sweet maid, how this may be."

Then did the little maid reply,
"Seven boys and girls are we;
Two of us in the churchyard lie,
Beneath the churchyard tree."

"You run about, my little maid,
Your limbs they are alive;
If two are in the churchyard laid
Then ye are only five."

"Their graves are green, they may be seen,"
The little maid replied,
"Twelve steps or more from my mother's door
And they are side by side."

"My stockings there I often knit,
My kerchief there I hem;
And there upon the ground I sit
And sing a song to them."

"And often after sunset, sir,
When it is light and fair
I take my little porringer
And eat my supper there."

"The first that died was sister Jane;
In bed she moaning lay,
Till God released her of her pain
And then she went away."

"So in the churchyard she was laid
And, when the grass was dry
Together round her grave we played,
My brother John and I."

"And when the ground was white with snow
And I could run and slide,
My brother John was forced to go
And he lies by her side."

"How many are you, then," said I,
"If they two are in heaven?"
Quick was the little maid's reply,
"O master! We are seven."

"But they are dead; those two are dead!
Their spirits are in heaven!"
'T was throwing words away; for still
The little maid would have her will
And said... "Nay, we are seven!"

by William Wordsworth

Sign Me Up, Jeff

2009-06-04T11:16:00.000-07:00

Ok, I'm retired. I'm in pretty good shape at the moment, good health and all. I don't have any major commitments. I've completed a looong application, produced a 3 minute video, applied for a passport and submitted my packet to be a contestant on Survivor Samoa.

My wife thinks it's silly and a waste of time and money, but if I were to get chosen it would be the experience of a lifetime, one that would not come my way again. That all said, the producers will thin out the supposedly thousands of applications to a mere 800 potential contestants, then to the final group to compete.

Now who wouldn't want to sleep outside in the dirt and rain with a group of total strangers, all of whom either want you to watch their back or put a knife in yours. If that's not enough, a steady diet of boiled water, rice, coconuts, fish and very little of anything else while going through exhausting contests should seal the deal to entice anyone.

The next season tapes during the summer and fall of 2009 and you must commit to be gone 7 weeks total, whether you are voted out the first tribal council or not. That would be pretty rough too, though, to have to spend 7 weeks in Samoa being taken care of by the producers, though I'd much rather be the 125 pound 53 year old man who walks away with a cool million at the end.

Guess I'd better go practice my swimming,

Twist

Dad's & Lads

2009-05-30T14:46:00.000-07:00

Our ward had an outing for the fathers and sons this weekend. We went camping at a place I haven't been since I was a teenager. During that trip we slept (and I use the term loosely) under a tornado and severe thunderstorm warning. With those old scout tents we had a river running from one end of the tent down the middle and out the other side. Wind, rain and hail were all pretty fierce.

This trip was picture perfect. The weather was gorgeous. The campsite was manicured and the lake was beautiful. Nathan and I went and took the kayak. We traded off taking it out. As I got in the first time I overbalanced and tipped it over in about 6 inches of water, filling it and my shoes with water and soaking myself. On a side note, I must have jammed my right hand ring finger because now it's swollen.

The rest of the campout was fine, no mishaps. I admit I did let a little fatherly worry wrinkle my brow as my youngest son took the kayak out to the middle of the lake by the dam and out of sight several times. I advised him beforehand that if it tipped over, just to get in it water and all. The kayak has foam inside both ends and will still float even if full of water, but he did fine.

The "fathers and sons" turned out to include many daughters too. Many of the dads brought all their kids or just daughters. It complicated the bathroom issue, but only slightly. It was a fun campout. We took Subway sandwiches for dinner and they cooked pancakes and Harry Potter sausages for breakfast.

That would have topped off the weekend fine except that my truck died about two blocks from the house and we had to push it back. I'm afraid it's the fuel pump. I'll have to have it seen about on Monday.

Life goes on as usual,

Twist

Top of My Shopping List

2009-05-11T18:52:00.000-07:00

I've been shopping around for a kayak like this for a long time. It's an Oldtown Otter. They sell for $280 and up at a number of stores. I got a large amount of money and gift cards from my coworkers when I retired and have been shopping, but not finding any better price. Every Sunday I check the ads of Academy Sports and Gander Mountain. Sometimes they sell for about $50 less, but I've missed finding a sale.

Sunday I decided to check on Craigslist and there was a kayak listed, not an Otter, but a really good price at over $100 cheaper. I called the phone number early Monday morning and the man said someone had already called and probably wanted to buy it, but wouldn't know till he saw it at 6pm. When I called about 6:30pm the seller said the other guy did buy the kayak. He then asked if I had my heart set on that type of kayak. I said no, that I really wanted an Otter. He then said that his neighbor has 5 kayaks and wants to sell his nearly new Otter. Needless to say, I went over immediately and bought the kayak I originally wanted for almost half price.

I've still got most of the original money and a gift card to Academy Sports. It's starting to burn a hole in my pocket.

Twist

Vote "For"...why?

2009-05-05T16:34:00.000-07:00

There is a big issue going on in our city right now. People buy their alcohol out at "the strip." It's just outside the city limits on the highway south of town. Other options they have are to go to nearby towns which are within 5-10 miles away. Now the issue is on the ballet to allow alcohol sales inside the city limits. It's a no brainer for me to vote against this since I don't drink and don't think anyone else should either, but I had an interesting experience at a garage sale Saturday.

There was a pretty, young woman sitting at the garage sale. She was pretty, but not cute, with a hard, bitter look on her face. She was talking to another person there and said this:

"Of course I voted to allow liquor sales inside the city limits. Do you know how hard it is for a 16 year old to buy beer? They can't get to the strip and can't buy if they go. You have to get someone else to buy it for you. What a hassle. At least now that I'm 18 I can get a fake ID because I look old enough."

After that last sentence it was interesting to watch her expression as she saw my Deputy Sheriff belt buckle and quickly debated whether or not I was real in law enforcement.

Of course, I didn't say a word and just let her go on wondering.

Vote "NO." I did.

Twist

Special Night

2009-04-30T19:37:00.000-07:00

The Temple president made our Stake president an offer he couldn't refuse. The offer was to open the Temple for a special session with the Stake presidency, High Council, Bishops and their wives. Also attending was the Mission president and his wife, Stake YW president, Stake RS president and her husband.

Due to scheduling problems, not everyone was able to come, but there was only one empty seat. The Temple president, counselor, matron and assistant were the officiators for the session. I expected a huge group for the prayer, but had mainly the Stake presidency and wives. It was an awesome session.

I would have stayed longer in the celestial room afterwards, but felt a cough tickle starting and didn't want to disturb the rest, so Helen and I left.

After we got home, we grilled bacon wrapped filet mignon for dinner with asparagus and potatoes for dinner. Deseret was a fudge bar.

If I was a cat, I'd be purring.

Twist

The Circle of Life

2009-04-28T18:28:00.000-07:00

I retired from my job of 25 years the end of March. I let them know a full month ahead of time so they could get a replacement for me ASAP. They posted the vacancy before I left, which was great. The secretary applied for and now has been given my position, which, in turn, left her position available. The secretary job has now been posted online. My wife, an assistant librarian, just put in an application for that job. I can give her all the help she needs to know how to do that interview. It would be hilarious if she goes to work at my old office with my friends. We of course, would laugh all the way to the bank as it would double Helen's salary. That would put us back at our pre-retirement income. Now when I get another job we will really be in good shape.

Still, I wonder if the fish are biting this week...

Twist

Officially CERTifiable

2009-04-25T14:21:00.000-07:00

That's what my instructor basically said today. My team and I are officially certified CERT team members. That stands for Community Emergency Response Team. We are volunteers to work in conjuction with the Citizens Corps, Homeland Security, fire, police and other emergency organizations. When a natural or man-made disaster gets to the magnitude of overwhelming available resources, our group is called in to help. We would go door to door in the case of some disaster and shut off utilities, check for victims, run triage and/or assist in other ways needed.

I have a pretty decent 72 hour emergency kit, but now I also have a CERT backpack with my disaster kit. I may not win any beauty awards wearing my forest green backpack, vest, green hard hat, gloves and safety goggles, but I think that might just be a sight for sore eyes for someone trapped in a house after a tornado.

Now I hope I never need to use any of that training and equipment.

Twist

It is to Cry For

2009-04-25T14:13:00.001-07:00

I found this at a garage sale yesterday.
I could easily picture this on the wall in the High Council room. There is also a projector screen that pulls down too. I called the Stake President later in the day and described it to him. He said definitely get it. I went back to the garage sale, paid the man $50 and backed up the van. As we were loading it in the back, he dropped his side and the door broke off. A one inch piece of wood all down the side sheared off where the screws attached the door to the hinge. I was sick about it. The man gave me the $50 back and we drove home.

I informed the Stake President what happened and he asked me to go back and buy the pieces and he would see if the man who just made cabinets for him could make a new door for it. Now, this cabinet is nice oak wood and a new door won't be cheap, but even if it costs $100 for a new door, I looked up the price of this on the internet. It normally sells for $2000. Now I just hope it won't be expensive to fix, because it will be wonderful in some classroom.

I will still keep my eyes peeled for more garage sales, though.

Twist

I'm Listening

2009-04-13T05:28:00.000-07:00

My wife took off Wednesday through Friday last week to go to a job fair with me, since we are both seeking new employment. The job fair was Wednesday, but did not have any dramatic results. We decided that since we were off, we would go camping for a few days in the mountains an hour south of Carlsbad Caverns.

As I awoke Thursday morning my wife said," I don't think we should go camping."

Me: "How come?"

Helen: "I've been thinking about it a lot this morning and feel that we shouldn't go."

Me: "OK. I trust your insight."

I'm not embarrassed to say that my wife is more in tune with spiritual promptings than I am. We have followed her promptings before and never been sorry.

Since we were off I decided that we needed to take the van to the shop to have the brakes serviced, which they needed. When the van call to let us know what the brake job would cost, I told Helen, "Don't be surprised if they say something about a fluid leak I've been seeing lately."

I didn't know what the leak was and had forgotten to mention it to them. Sure enough, they saw the leak and said it was the rack and pinion assembly that needed to be replaced. We trust the mechanic shop quite a bit and knew they were right. The repairs of the van, added to new u-joints on my truck last week meant that we spent about $1k on car repairs last week.

Now I can't say for sure that brakes and steering would have gone out on us high in the mountains of Texas or New Mexico, but I am positive that I'm glad I didn't have to put that to the test.

I wonder if Helen's insight extends to contests.... I'm sure it wouldn't work with the lottery, even if I did play, which I don't.

There will be other campouts.

Twist

It's Not the End of the World

2009-04-07T18:18:00.000-07:00

As we left exams in college, someone would inevitably say, "Well, it's not the end of the world, just the end of a career."

I just ended a career. That was a week ago. Last night we went to my retirement dinner, thrown by my ex-coworkers. When we had our Christmas parties, we normally had about 18 people there. Last night a total of 32 people were at the party. The retirees I had previously worked with were all there except one who is in a nursing home. I was highly honored.

I was also totally blown away by all the gifts and the amount that was spent on me. There were multiple gift cards, presents and a money tree. Helen and I were picking the "fruits" of the tree for almost 30 minutes. Don't misunderstand me. I'm thrilled for the monetary gifts, but one I was hoping would be there was there. My manager presented me with a Texas flag that was flown over the state capitol the day I retired.

Standing there at the head of the table, wearing my hawaiian shirt, boar's tooth necklace and a large sash that said "Retired" I almost got emotional. It was really good to see so many people that were my coworkers going back 25 years.

I told them I hope to see them at the Christmas party, but now that I'm gone, I'm not sure they'll get it organized and planned.

Till then, I do have pictures.

Twist

Eagles' Nest

2009-04-03T19:21:00.000-07:00

At 7pm on April 1, 2009, my youngest son Nathan received his eagle scout award almost 6 1/2 years after his older brother, Chris received his eagle.

As a youth, I never got past second class. There were a host of reasons for that, but I've always tried to follow the scout motto of "Be prepared." I'd like to think that if the eagle award were available to adult scouts, I'd be qualified. Nevertheless, I'm thrilled to see my youngest child receive the award. Of course, like his brother, he won't appreciate it for years, but those of us who understand the prestige are proud of them both.

I will claim only a small amount of credit since most of it goes not to Nathan, but to Helen. She worked with him through merit badges and eagle project. She got a neat mother's pin. I got a cool dad's pin.

I think I need to polish my pins a bit.

Twist

2009-03-31T13:07:00.000-07:00

So, for my last day at work I worked the choices down to Hawkeye from MASH or James Bond. Now, there is no doubt that Bond has class, but I decided that Hawkeye's got style.

My bathrobe, so long that people thought it was a duster, and my cowboy hat fit the bill. Everyone thought it was perfect, but to tell you the truth, a little bit of me wanted the Bond look. Just tell everyone that my next career is classified.

I confess that it was hard to do any work at all until they let me leave 4 hours early. That's the story of my life. I left all the women with tears in their eyes. I thought I might shed a few myself, but nary a drop.

I came home, watched I am Legend, took a dip in the hot tub, and it's still not yet 5pm. I could get used to this...at least till the money ran out. I'll start the job search soon, but for now, I think I need a nap.

zzzzz

Twist.

Spring Cleaning

2009-03-29T16:52:00.000-07:00

I have 1 full day and 1 day of who knwos how long left at work this week. I will leave work Tuesday at whatever time they let me go to retire after 25 years at work. Mind you, I'm not going to quit working, just going to quit working there. I'm on the brink of trying to start another career, but we'll have to wait and see just what.

Since I have been there so long I have accumulated quite a pile of junk and decorations for my cubicle. Rather than depress my co-workers....and have them laugh at my pile of stuff, I decided to clean out my cubicle on Saturday. Helen and I went in and started cleaning out and boxing up. There was quite a lot of memories amidst the dust, but we finally got everything I could in the van. I had 5 copier paper boxes, two paintings and 3 picture frames to take home. The boxes included many miscellaneous items such as: M & M Hotrod candy dispenser, mugs, junk food, a zen garden, bamboo plant, a wide array of junk food and medicines for the office.

I shredded 2 trashcans full of old papers and will still have a desk full of office supplies, my roll-o-dex, an under-cabinet stereo, and a number of other items to let my co-workers fight over once I'm gone. I'm totally good with that. I went through other retirees' desks the day after they left. I waited a week to go through the desk of a friend that died, so I whole-heartedly hope they don't just trash the left overs.

I'm trying to decide now what to wear for my last day at work. Pajamas and a bathrobe, a tux and ruffled shirt, coveralls and cowboy hat. So many options.

I knew I should have bought a full pair of spurs,

Twist

Living with the Wolves

2009-03-21T18:17:00.000-07:00

My son and his wife sold their party train and had to take it to Houston. They decided to make a trip of it and visit the coast and her dad in Austin, extending the trip through the weekend. They took their sheltie with them, but left their two half-wolves and mutt with us. The wolves each have a dog crate the size of a minivan where they sleep. Since the younger wolf is still a puppy, of about 50 lbs, she shares her crate with the mutt.

They get fed once a day. The papa bowl for Avalanche, the older wolf; the mama bowl for Maya, the young wolf, and the baby bowl for the mutt. Avalanche used to literally wolf down his food. He grabbed mouthfuls as fast as possible and swallowed without chewing. He’s calmed down now and eats more calmly, but can still wolf down food if he thinks someone will take it away from him. (That someone will not be me between a wolf and his food.)

At 5am, the wolf pack began a howling, barking riot that I’m sure could wake the dead, after all, it did wake me from a dead sleep. It turns out that there is something that smells worse than a wolf. I left them outside, praying that that won’t wake (or eat) the neighbors, while I cleaned up the mess and sprayed the room with liberal amounts of air freshener.

After living with the wolf pack for 3 days, I have determined the method in their plan of attack. First, they make their prey sleep deprived, so as not to suspect an attack is coming. It is also possible that they make their prey sleep deprived in order to cause the prey to think in irrational ways. Second, whenever the wolves are wandering free in the yard, the oldest will sneak up behind you and nose you, spreading wolf snot and slobber on you. If you have just gotten out of the hot tub, the oozing slime can literally be strategically placed anywhere on you. This is not merely random snot. This snot is for tracking you later when you least suspect it.

I haven’t worried about this for 2 days because the motor home sized crates are comparatively secure. That was when I noticed that the springs are gone from one of the crates. In that wolfish mind, I can see them plotting now. The young wolf will open her cage first with the help of the mutt. The two of them will then free the pack leader. All of this will happen in the dead of night. Their keen sense of smell will then lead them to the snotty smell they placed on you, no matter where you sleep or hide.

I decided that tonight is the night they will strike as the sleep deprivation will be at its peak. I think I can move the book case in front of the door, but I don’t know how much snot marking has been done with the kids. I may just have to stay up all night in the living room with the lights on and the garlic spread around the room. Oh, wait, would that smell like seasoning too much?
What’s that snuffling sound?

Twist

A Bit o' the Emerald Isle

2009-03-09T16:21:00.000-07:00

I know it's not quite St. Patrick's Day, but it's never too early to celebrate the wearin' o' the green. This is in honor of Nene.

Irish Marriage Blessing
May God be with you and bless you.May you see your children's children.May you be poor in misfortunesand rich in blessings.May you know nothing but happinessfrom this day forward.

An Old Irish Blessing
May the road rise up to meet you.May the wind always be at your back.May the sun shine warm upon your face,and rains fall soft upon your fields.And until we meet again,May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

A Wish for a Friend
Wishing you a rainbowFor sunlight after showers—Miles and miles of Irish smilesFor golden happy hours—Shamrocks at your doorwayFor luck and laughter too,And a host of friends that never endsEach day your whole life through!

An Irish Prayer
May God give you...For every storm, a rainbow,For every tear, a smile,For every care, a promise,And a blessing in each trial.For every problem life sends,A faithful friend to share,For every sigh, a sweet song,And an answer for each prayer.

An Old Cradle Song
Sleep, my babe, lie still and slumber,All through the nightGuardian angels God will lend thee,All through the nightSoft and drowsy hours are creeping,Hill and vale in slumber sleeping,Mother dear her watch is keeping,All through the nightGod is here, you'll not be lonely,All through the night'Tis not I who guards thee only,All through the nightNight's dark shades will soon be over,Still my watchful care shall hover,God with me His watch is keeping,All through the night

Remembered Joy
Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free!I follow the plan God laid for me.I saw His face, I heard His call,I took His hand and left it all...I could not stay another day,To love, to laugh, to work or play;Tasks left undone must stay that way.And if my parting has left a void,Then fill it with remembered joy.A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss...Ah yes, these things I, too, shall miss.My life's been full, I've savoured much:Good times, good friends, a loved-one's touch.Perhaps my time seemed all too brief—Don't shorten yours with undue grief.Be not burdened with tears of sorrow,Enjoy the sunshine of the morrow.

An Old Celtic Blessing
May the blessing of light be on you—light without and light within.May the blessed sunlight shine on youand warm your hearttill it glows like a great peat fire.

Bless This House
Bless this house, o Lord, we pray.Make it safe by night and day.Bless these walls so firm and stout,Keeping want and trouble out.Bless the roof and chimney tall,Let thy peace lie over all.Bless the doors that they may proveEver open to joy and love.Bless the windows shining bright,Letting in God's heavenly light.Bless the hearth a-blazing there,With smoke ascending like a prayer.Bless the people here within...Keep them pure and free from sin.Bless us all, that one day, weMay be fit, O lord, to dwell with Thee.

In Time of Sorrow...
May you see God's light on the path aheadWhen the road you walk is dark.May you always hear,Even in your hour of sorrow,The gentle singing of the lark.When times are hard may hardnessNever turn your heart to stone,May you always rememberwhen the shadows fall—You do not walk alone.

A Blessing for Fair Day
God be with them now, and bring them home with their fair share of stock or money.

An Old Irish Blessing
May love and laughter light your days,and warm your heart and home.May good and faithful friends be yours,wherever you may roam.May peace and plenty bless your worldwith joy that long endures.May all life's passing seasonsbring the best to you and yours!

My Favorite
May those that love us, love us;and those that don't love us,may God turn their hearts;And if He doesn't turn their hearts,may He turn their anklesso we'll know them by their limping.

I think I just found a four leaf clover,

Twist.

It's My Car

2009-03-06T20:10:00.000-08:00

I got a call today from my youngest daughter. She was at work at the bank and said, "Do you know a Carlos Pando?"
"No, I've never heard of him, why?"
"Because there's a tow truck here to take my car away because it's behind on car payments. "
I had her had the cell phone to the tow truck operator and told them, "DO NOT TAKE THAT CAR! I HAVE A CLEAR TITLE!"
She said that the Ford company had a lien against the title. I told her again, "no I have a clear title."
The lady said she was just doing her job, but I told her she was not to take the car. Meanwhile she was on the phone with the Ford people and gave me the guy's number to call and said that she would not take Samm's car.
I had to wait another hour or so to get home and find the title to the car. Now I couldn't remember looking at it or not to see if it was clear. Fortunately it showed no lien.
I called Ford and talked to the guy and said, "You tried to tow my daughter's car today." He knew right who we were and said there had been a huge mistake on their part, that they had corrected the error and it wouldn't happen again. He appologized appropriately, so I magnanimously accepted and that was the end of that.
I'm pretty sure I spiked my blood pressure for the year, though. I got to spend some time at the Temple in a meeting, so I'm mellow again.
Well, maybe I need to go spend a little time out in the hot tub....just to be sure.

Twist.

End of an Era

2009-03-02T05:56:00.000-08:00

After taking disastrous exams in college, you could usually hear someone say, "Well, it's not the end of the world, just the end of a career." While I haven't taken any disastrous exams, I am at the end of a career. I'm off today due to Texas Independence Day, but tomorrow I will officially tender my letter of resignation with my intent to retire on March 31st. I haven't shed any tears typing up the letter, though I'm sure some will come before I leave, but it's a scary, exciting thing to do, especially in this economy.

25 years ago, my wife and I left our jobs, home and her family in Kentucky to move to Texas and hopefully find a job. We had no prospects or opportunities except to move in with my parents in Odessa, Texas. They were kind enough to let us stay with them for 4 months until I got the job I had hoped I would get with the State of Texas. Though I've had disagreements and disappointments with my time, it's been good, or maybe better to say it's been good for me.

Now, at 53 years old, I find myself facing unemployment while I endeavor to start over again, yet, as Joseph Smith said, "I am calm as a summer's morn." Sure, I know that John D. Lee spoke those word before he was executed, but I feel the same peace I did 25 years ago as I faced the then unknown. I am confident as I trust in the Lord, that He knows exactly what I will be doing in the future, just as He always has, and will watch over me.

Twist

A Short Blog

2009-02-16T19:04:00.000-08:00

What’s on My MP3 Playlist?

All I Need is a Miracle
Black Velvet
Bolero
I’ve Got My Mind Set on You
Lady in Red
Life is a Highway
Muskrat Love
Southern Cross
Still
Wildwood Weed
You Had a Bad Day

No rhyme or reason, just songs I like, even if I can't play them all on my harmonica.

Twist

6 Quirks

2009-01-13T18:32:00.000-08:00

I really hate lists. Maybe that's a quirk (?) Anyway, here's my list:

1. I love to wear toe socks, collect weapons, buckles and harmonicas. Ok, so those are all quirks, but I’m including them all as one.

2. I probably have a bigger stuffed animal collection than any of my kids or grandkids.

3. The ringtone on my phone is the theme song from “Inspector Gadget.” It’s very typical of my favorite toys. I like all gadgets. If it’s electronic, sharp or useful for survival, I like it. You can never have too many ways to make light or start fire. You wouldn’t believe how many light sticks I have in a drawer.

4. You can never have too many pockets. My favorite outfit would be my cargo pants (6 pockets), fishing shirt (4 pockets), my tactical vest (I lost count of how many pockets it has) and a fanny pack. Fill those with all my gadgets and I’m in heaven.

5. I’m not neat, but I am orderly. Right, probably best described as OCD. When I wash dishes (if ever), I put all the spoons, plates, cups etc together by group. I really need a chair and a tv. When I work on my computer, I have about 5 different windows open and if they are not in the right order on the taskbar at the bottom, I close them all and open them in the right order.

6. I am not as germophobic as some people, but I keep hand sanitizer with me most of the time. If I touch something someone else touches I am antsy till I can wash my hands.

I just gathered up my flashlights from the grandkids who were playing with them. Now I need some hand sanitizer.

Twist

Happy Birthday, Nene!

2009-01-02T19:53:00.000-08:00

I don't usually write my memories about my family like everyone else does. Mainly because my brain doesn't seem to work and remember anything long enough to write it down. I'm going to try and do better this year. So now I'm one for one.

When I was in elementary school, a cute little blonde girl moved in next to us. I've always been attracted to cute little blonde girls, so she and I used to play together. At least until Inklings and Nene teased me half to death about liking her. Cindy, said cute little blonde girl, and Nene were friends and played together at our house, but I was so traumatized by then that I would hide anywhere so they wouldn't find me, which of course encouraged them to look for me. Once I hid in the cupboard with the pots and pans.

Nene and Inklings had a secret club, which of course, Sticks and I knew about. I thought they called it the Secret Sword Club and had tiny swords made of stick pins. The clubhouse was under the stairs where our hamster used to hide when he got out of his cage.

I'm sure there's a million other memories floating in my cerebral limbo, but I felt that Nene and I grew closest when we were the only siblings living in this state. We had to travel 320 miles to her house on our way to the temple, but I looked forward to the visits. Later she moved about the same distance to the east and we visited there for a variety of reasons. Now that she's in Ireland I just need to figure out a good way to get there for a visit, too.

All my sisters seem to have gotten the beauty and talent. I got the short end of that gene pool, but I'm proud to call Nene my beautiful, beloved sister.

Happy Birthday,

Twist

Yup, Me and Daniel Boone

2008-12-23T16:16:00.000-08:00

Here in Kentucky we like to go hiking at Christmas time. This year our first trek was to Pilot Knob, near Clay City Kentucky. This spot is famous because Daniel Boone climbed to the top when he first arrived in that area. That was his first view of the Bluegrass. The view from the top covers several hundred square miles. We could see buildings in the city we left about 30 miles away.

The hike to Pilot Knob is about 1.5 miles to the top. Most of the hike is climbing up. The temperature was below 30 most of the time. We were dressed warmly, but it was windy at the top where we stopped for lunch, which fortunately, consisted of hot chocolate. My heart was sure pounding hard on the hike up, but the return trip down made up for it.

Since I could see several cell phone towers, I called my friend Jerry to let him know where in the world I was today. On the way up we had some sleet falling, but on the way back to the car it turned to rain, which was unfortunate because the interstate overpasses started icing up causing multiple wrecks, none of which involved us.

We hiked to a very historic, beautiful spot and got home safely in bad weather. All in all a good day.

Merry Christmas!

Twist

Happy Holidays

2008-12-03T10:47:00.000-08:00

Dog gone it, but I like this song I found. I guess it's the survivalist in me. Here are the lyrics and a link to hear the song.

http://www.seeqpod.com/search/?plid=81f625b5dc

Chipmunks Roasting On An Open Fire
By Bob Rivers

Chipmunks roasting on an open fireHot sauce dripping from their toes
Yuletide squirrels fresh filleted by the choir
They poked hot skewers through their nose
Everybody knows some pepper and a garlic clove
Help to make them seasoned right
Tiny rats with a crisp golden coat
Will really hit the spot tonight

And now when Santa sees his tray
There'll be some homemade chipmunk jerky for his sleigh
And every hungry child is gonna spy
To see if chipmunks really sing when they fry
And so I'm brushing on some honey glaze
To keep them crisp and juicy too
Let's hope they get served many times many ways
Tasty Chipmunks; good food

And so I'm offering some recipes
From chipmunk pie to chipmunk stew
I'm not really sad that it ended this way
Furry chipmunks to you?

Oy Vey to Oh, Boy!

2008-11-23T16:01:00.000-08:00

As I left off last time I was due for a root canal. Monday was the scheduled appointment, and believe you me, I was early. My blood pressure was a little high as I went into the office. They thought I was nervous about being there. On the contrary, I was thrilled to be there to fix my tooth, but you'd think they'd factor in all the ibuprofen I was taking and the pain. Now, had I known how the procedure would go, I might have been more anxious. Once they numbed me up I was doing ok, until they put a rubber patch over my tooth and mouth and stuck a big rubber stopper in my mouth to bite on. That arrangement makes it pretty hard to swallow, which really did make me anxious. It's probably a good thing that they didn't monitor my blood pressure during the root canal.

I've been quite lucky all my life, the oral surgeon says it's because some of my teeth have 3 roots instead of two....like the one that needed the root canal. As he went into the nerve of each root, it was clear that the novocaine didn't help much in the root. I nearly came off the chair 3 times as he worked. Fortunately, after that, the rest was comparatively easy.

When I got home afterwards, I quickly discovered that not only does novocaine wear off too fast, but that ibuprofen doesn't work very fast. I wandered around the house holding an icepack to my jaw, moaning to myself and Laura, desperately waiting for the ibuprofen to kick in. Laura and her dog, Orion, were both freaking out and Laura had to go to work before I was doing better.

Doing better only meant that the tooth didn't hurt much anymore. In the process, it seems I picked up shigellosis from my granddaughter, Tamra. This is a kid's disease, but it has high fever, vomiting and diahrrea as it's symptoms, which kept up for over 24 hours. Monday and Tuesday I was recovering from the root canal, Wednesday I went to San Antonio for training till Friday. I lost 6 pounds and still do not have much appetite. Tamra's mother informed me that shigellosis will stay around for 4-6 weeks if you don't get major antibiotics. I had ampicillin for my abcessed tooth, but don't think it was strong enough to clear up the shigellosis.

Friday and Saturday we dealt with Laura and Niels' wedding and reception, which all went well. Tomorrow I'll call the doctor to see if I need another round of antibiotics.

Let's see. My tooth is fixed. The pain is gone. My daughter got married. I lost 6 lbs and don't want to eat a lot now.

I know there's a down side in here somewhere.....

Twist

Oy Vey!

2008-11-09T16:50:00.000-08:00

Oy vey is a common phrase among jewish people. It means oh pain. That pretty much sums up my past week. I went to Fort Worth Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday for training at work. I started having a tooth pain Monday or Tuesday and it got progessively worse. I called my dentist on Wednesday, but they were not open. Thursday morning I finally got the office and told them I thought I had an abcessed tooth. I was hoping to get a prescription of antibiotics faxed to me where I could start on the regimen. They told me they could see me at 8am Friday. Since I probably couldn't have filled a prescription anyway, I set up that appointment. The only way I made it home from Fort Worth was to take a drink of water about every minute or so. For some reason it made the pain ease up.

Friday the dentist's assistant xrayed my teeth and they decided I needed a root canal. I went straight from the dentist's office to the oral surgeon, but they were booked until Tuesday. They did promise to work me in if possible. Friday came and went without getting worked in. The pain on Friday was easily the most intense pain I've ever had in my life. I started the antibiotics and darvocet pain killer, but didn't notice much difference.

Saturday, the sharp pains were gone, but then it became an intense ache whenever pain medication wore off. The only thing that seems to help is to take 3 or 4 ibuprofen. I can only hope that they can work me in on Monday. If not, I have an appointment scheduled for Tuesday before taking off again for San Antonio on Wednesday.

I have a feeling it's going to be another long week.

Twist

When Garage Sales Go Bad

2008-11-08T19:24:00.000-08:00

We had a garage sale today. We've been building up, saving up for it for about a month now. Chris & Tandy had a lot of things stacking up since they got married, at their house, our house and their storage. We sold quite a few things. Our only advertising that most people saw were two boxes with our address on them. We strategically placed them at two of the most popular corners of our area. The results were fantastic. Lots of stuff got bought up.

A blog or so ago, I wrote about survival kit stuff, in particular, how to start a fire. I asked Sticks and others what their favorite odd method is of starting fires. No you may think I just got off track, but in actuallity, what I did was discover a way to make a fire. You put a garage sale sign box out on the corner with a bottle of water inside. The sun's rays shine through the water and are magnified enough to set the box on fire. Fortunately, a good samaritan passing by saw the smoke and used some of the water in the bottles to put the fire out, then let us know about it.

I don't think I can carry a cardboard box and 3 liter bottle of water around to light a fire in case of emergencies, but it is sure a principle I can adapt.

Do you smell smoke?......

Twist

Sea Turtles, Salmon and....Spiders?

2008-11-01T20:07:00.000-07:00

It is a well documented fact that many animals can find their way back to where they were born. Turtles and salmon, for example may travel hundreds of miles to return to their nesting/spawning locations, but I've never heard it said that spiders do it.

We had a spider in our front yard, called Charlotte by some, Bella by others, you know.. a vampider.. Anyway, I liked to just refer to it as ookie. As Halloween approached, we decided to relocate the spider to avoid any web collisions by trick-or-treaters. Not to mention, a similar spider in Plainview really attacked a stick we used to move it away from our doorway.

I got a small (small not short) branch and swirled it around the web, effectively getting enough of the web to keep the spider attached. It was eating a bug at the time or it might have gotten away again. I took that stick and web around the house out the back gate and threw it down the alley on the opposite side of the alley from our house. I figured it would be happy enough with a tree down the alley.

That might have been all of a week ago and there is a spider back in the original tree again. Whether it is the same spider or another, I don't know, but Laura said, "Wouldn't it be really ookie if it went through the house to get back to the front yard. (Shudder).

As Mom would say, now I itch all over.

Twist

Touched by the Spirit

2008-10-26T17:12:00.000-07:00

We had general conference 4 weeks ago. Although it was hard to concentrate with little ones around, it was an inspiring event. One thing that always helps me is to take notes on my laptop while conference is going on. It helps me focus on the speaker and how I feel.

While the talks were great, ideas during the conference were not what touched me the most. Being so influenced by the Spirit, has helped me in the past 4 weeks, long after conference was over. Our family has personal experience with inspiration that affects lives. Now I may have concentrated a little more on doing the things I should and avoiding worldly influences, but I have had a multitude of promptings by the Spirit lately. The surprising part lately has been how many of these promptings were meant to help at my work. Things which would definitely help me and others. The trend continued this weekend during Stake conference as assigned tasks needed to be accomplished.

There have not been any earthshaking changes happen, but my own little world is truly grateful for being notice by One who continually watches over my life, even in things that might be considered trivial. I just hope to continue the trend as I have some really lifechanging decisions coming up in the next few months.

See you a little later on down the trail,

Twist

Survival of the Most Prepared

2008-10-11T20:20:00.000-07:00

The fittest may look better, but the most prepared last longer. I've been interested in survival techniques, kits, gadgets, etc since I was a young Boy Scout. I've always tried to be prepared to stay alive by knowing what to do and how to do it. Lately I've once again been trying to compile what I think is the perfect small survival kit. I even included some of my ideas in my book, Tall Trail Tales. A couple of the items on my list are really bigger than I'd like, but I would still include them in my ideal kit. Here's my list of what I've come up with so far. If you have a favorite not on my list, let me know what it is and why you'd include it. Remember this is trying to be space conscious.

Obviously my ideal kit would be a motorhome full of stuff.

Twist

Fire
Hot Spark Flint
Fire starter chip
Glycerin
Plastic Magnifying lens
Small Bic lighter
Tinder wick

Tools
Compass
Duct tape
Multitool
Orange bandana
Parachute cord
Pencil / paper
Signal mirror
Small knife
Survival cards
Whistle

Food
Dental Floss
Flies/lures
Hooks
Line
Pan
Sinker
Snare wire

Shelter
Emergency blanket
Poncho
Tube tent

Water
Gallon ziplock bag
Mesh bag
Plastic sheet for solar still
Potassium Permanganate
Water purifier tabs
Water tubing for seeps

Light
Candle wick
Candles
LED light
Small glow stick

No Joy in Mudville

2008-09-16T15:53:00.000-07:00

In the continuing saga of the historic rain here, the day after the rain fell was Friday night. Date night for my youngest daughter Samantha. She and her date, a respectable RM, decided to go to the park. Unfortunately, the park was under 4 feet of water. Unfortunately, that didn't stop them.

They waded out until they found the swingset. They swung in the swings for awhile. I'm not sure quite how they managed since the swings were actually under water. When they'd had enough, or were too cold to stay, they got up to leave when, to their horror, both of them had lost their sets of car keys in the murky waters. They tried and failed to find either set of keys and got keys delivered from one set of parents and drove home for the other set of keys.

My wife and I were not informed of this key loss, which said keys belonged to my truck, until Saturday evening. We went speedily to the park where I waded out about 25 yeards only to decide that the water would be way to deep another 100 yards out where the swingset was located.

I talked to Chris about borrowing his kayaks mentioned in my last blog. He and Tandy decided that was as good an excuse to kayak as any and headed out before I could. In the kayaks they quickly got to the swingset. Chris told Tandy, "Watch my leg to see how deep the water is" and he got out of the kayak. With a shocked look he told Tandy, " I think I'm standing on the keys!"

Sure enough, the first place his foot touched down was on my keys.

Monday, Samantha and friend were going to meet at the park to look for the other keys, which Chris did not find. Before Samantha could get there, he'd already found his keys.

We're happy we found both sets of keys in the flood, but we were both disappointed that we didn't get to play in the kayaks and water.

I wonder what else I could find if I paddled out anyway...

Twist

Clouds All Around and Pouring Down in the Middle

2008-09-14T07:43:00.000-07:00

With the approach of Hurricane Ike, much of the south expected some rainy weather. In the plains where I live, however, we only usually average 22 inches of rain per year. When I moved here 6 years ago, we had a huge rain of 3 inches in an hour or so. Streets were flooded to overflowing. Local ponds spilled over their shores into the neighborhoods and the city decided to spend millions of dollars to put in a major drainage system. There has not really been a very large rain to test the system, but the small ones seemed to drain away as intended.

Hurricane Ike did not reach my home, but it seemed to alter the flow of moisture in the air sufficiently to cause a pretty good rain. OK, it was the most rain my area has received in over 100 years. Basically, the only other known rain that was larger floated an ark. We had a solid rain for nearly 24 hours, culminating in an accumulation of about 8 inches of rain.

I was taken back to days of my youth, towing behind and being towed behind a bicycle on an air mattress down the rain filled street where I grew up. My son, Chris, has several kayaks, all of which he most dastardly put into storage instead of leave at least one at my house. I would readily have put on my wet suit and paddled my way down the gutter into the evening news, but alas, por Twist, he hath no water craft small enough for such a venture.

At 2am after the rain, there was a knock on the door. Our friendly, neighborhood city engineer wanted to know if we wanted sandbags for our house. Now, I would assume, that he would have noticed, even at 2am in the morning, that there was no water near my house, that the water closest to the house was downhill at the end of the block, probably .2 of a mile away, but perhaps he was singularly focused on his task. Perhaps the flashing lights of the fire engine block the road there distracted him, but regardless, we refused his offer of sandbags. How short sighted of me! I could have used those bags of sand in the back of my truck this winter. Oh, well, maybe I'll get a couple of bales of hay instead.

There are lots of pictures of the flood damage, but none struck more fear in the hearts of people than the picture I included, the football stadium with 8 inches of water in the bottom. The pumps that would normally have made the water go elsewhere failed. With a home game later in the day, would it be ready in time?!? The fire department came to the rescue and thousands of fans breathed a sigh of relief and a heartfelt thank you to the firemen.

Later in the day than 2am, at a more respectable hour of about 10am, another city engineer, once again focused on his task, asked if we had any water damage from the storm. I once again pointed out that the water was about .2 of a mile away, down about a 6 foot drop in elevation. Several more 8 inch rains would still not make the water reach our house. He went away, somewhat disappointed that he could not add thousands of dollars in damage to our house to his slowly growing list. I expect the city wanted a larger list to report to the federal government. Maybe my hens and chickens were overwatered in the rain.

I wonder if it's still too late to put in some damage estimates....

Twist.

Stuck in the Middle

2008-09-01T13:44:00.000-07:00

I have a really good idea for my next book. If I do the book right, I will have a character developed for any number of future books. I'm off to a great start. I have what I think is a dynamic start for the book, a fair, vague idea of what I want to write and lots of notes.

Today being labor day, I thought I'd sleep in. For me sleeping in goes to about 7am, 7:30am if I'm lucky. I guess today I got more than lucky. I was starting to wake up at about 7:20am. Normally when I wake up the first thing that goes through my mind is my morning song. In fact, earlier in the morning as I stirred the theme song from Jonathon Living Seagull by Neal Diamond was my morning song, which, though I don't remember the dream, I remember it went with whatever the dream was. My last time up, however, instead of my morning song, which had started several times, something different ran through my thoughts. This morning what ran through my brain was the perfect way to end my book. I immediately got up and wrote down as much of the details as possible. Now all I have to do is come up with the five hundred or so other pages I want to write for this book

I'm going to need a new laptop.

Twist

You want me to do what? Hello?

2008-08-22T17:26:00.000-07:00

At my work, we have our new phone system that uses VoIP, internet phone. You can call any of our offices around the state and ask for my extension. They will promptly transfer the call. I assume it works for out of state to our toll free phone number as well.

This morning, we were only getting busy signals as we tried to dial out, a clear indication of a recurring problem we've been having where we can only dial extension on the network or receive incoming calls. I contacted our help desk to see if they could fix the problem. The conversation ended like this:

IT guy: "What I need you to do is unplug your phone line for about 5 seconds..........."

Me: "I don't think you'll be able to tell me what to do next after that."

Here's your sign.

Twist

Happy Birthday, Oh Happy Birthday!

2008-08-11T15:25:00.000-07:00

Since I can't be there to sing happy birthday, little brother, I thought I'd send my geriatric hamster with his walker.

Enjoy,

Twist

Summer Days

2008-08-03T10:23:00.000-07:00

I just returned from vacation. Most of my siblings have beaten me to blogging, but I still want to record a few thoughts. Even though there was occassionally not even standing room, even though the mosquitos were fierce, even though it rained much of the time, even though some of that rain made it in the tent, even though our normal routine was totally thrown askew, I love to be with my family. I hugged the ones that came, and missed the ones who didn't. I guess the days are gone where everyone will be there, but I miss them just the same.

Highlights besides visiting were fishing with my brother-in-law and nephew and trips into the hills either by vehicle or on foot.

For all those I didn't see, hug, laugh and cry with, I love you all as well.

Twist

All We Need is Love

2008-07-12T15:20:00.000-07:00

I have discovered why so many teenagers and others get on facebook and myspace. While I don't have a myspace account, I do now have a facebook. Initially I signed up so I could view some group photos of a camp I recently helped as an adult leader. Shortly after signing up, I began to accumulate friends on my facebook account. People requested to be my friend, I asked others to be my friend. This is the true secret. We all want friends. We all want to be wanted. In the world of youth, this is of ultimate importance. As an adult, it's not so bad either. Friends I know, friends who have moved away, friends I had forgotten about, friends I don't even know. I find myself wanting to request friends that are young , old, and unknown just to show my friend count higher and higher. And if one of your friends writes on your wall, well that is akin to having your house teepeed. It's not done out of hate or dislike. You only teepee your friends.

That's about all I can write for now. I need to see if anyone's replied to my friends requests on facebook.

Twist.

Eagles' Nest

2008-07-06T12:34:00.000-07:00

My son Nathan,will soon be 16. That means he could get a drivers license, start to date, and it means he needs to get his eagle scout project done within 2 years. Fortunately, he's been working on the project over the other things. We spent a number of hours this past week working on the project. He is renovating the Outdoor Nature Center at the elementary school where my wife works. There is now a 4x6 foot turtle habitat, a bird feeder, bird house, and soon a weather center. Lots of new plants were put in, the bridge resealed and handrails painted and a general cleanup all over. I personally hauled hundreds of pounds of materials in the wheelbarrow. The entire project is more work than several we've heard about. Most all of it's done now just waiting for the write up. We're hopefull that he'll be approved and receive his award by the time school starts again. Chris got his eagle just before he turned 18. Nathan will have 2 years to spare. Their mother fully deserves a pat on the back for a job well done.

I think I need some ibuprofen.

Twist

Wedding Bells

2008-06-22T17:39:00.002-07:00

While I was away at camp, my wife was planning the wedding, luncheon and reception for Chris and Tandi. I got back in the afternoon on Friday and in the evening we started decorating the church building. We setup chairs, we carried food, but everything was pretty much a simple affair. I know, easy for me to say. They got married and headed out to Colorado for a honeymoon in a cabin in the mountains. They are going white water rafting. While they are gone, Tamra went to her father's and we get to babysit the sheltie and the wolf. Yes, I said wolf. He's sweet, but if they'd taken him to Colorado, who knows, he might have run off to join a pack somewhere. Now we're in the process of getting everything out of Chris' room to move kids around.

To top all the week off, Laura and Niels just announced their engagement as well! They are planning to be married December 12th this year. Never a dull moment around our house.

Maybe I should have just purchased a tux. Might come in hand a lot in the next few years.

Twist

Summer Camp

2008-06-22T17:39:00.001-07:00

There has been so much going on, I'm going to put two posts out. I've spent the past week at Girl's Camp. 4 Men, 21 women leaders and about 75 young women at camp. We had hummingbirds, a deer, a young bear in camp, threat of a forrest fire all week, and a water balloon fight that threatened to never end. We went through over 1000 balloons and had two launchers.

The last night of camp, the women leaders woke up the men at 1:30am to the smell of smoke. Fortunately, the fires were about 100 miles away, but I'm sure some of the women didn't sleep the rest of the night.

The Spirit was incredible all the camp, but especially for the testimony meeting and closing events. The food was great. I probably gained 5 pounds.

I hope I get to go again next year.

Twist

Guilty Until You Pay

2008-05-22T19:38:00.000-07:00

The first of March I was in Austin for a few days. I took a class and ate too much, then I went home again. I thought that was the end of it until a week ago when I got a letter in the mail from a company call Violations Management Service. They informed me that my rent car got a parking ticket while in Austin, therefore they were charging me a $40 fee for their service which they had already added to my credit card and that I could expect to get a notice from the City of Austin parking control as well for another $30.00. Austin, of course, had no idea who rented the car, but Advantage Rent-a-Car was more than happy to give them my name as the guilty party.

All this was 2 months ago, so I worried about having a warrant out for my arrest. I went online to verify what I already knew. The parking ticket was written for an expired parking meter, except that my rent car was parked 4 miles away at the time. I have confidence that a meter maid can read a license plate, so I assume that Advantage Rent-a-Car can't read their own records. You'll notice I've used the name Advantage Rent-a-Car a few times. I just want to warn others away from them.

Nothing on my contract specifies the license number of my rent car except the original receipt, which I didn't think I'd ever need after they determined I brought the car back with no new dings. The VMS company wouldn't remove the $40 fee unless I proved to them first that the ticket has been dismissed against me. At least they wouldn't until Advantage Rent-a-Car advised them that they don't charge state employees that fee. The $40, supposedly has now been taken off my card, but I have to wait till I get a copy of the original ticket, a copy of the original signed receipt for the car and prove that they are two different cars. If Advantage Rent-a-Car, however, wrote the license number for the wrong car and I didn't catch their mistake, I then have to provide affadavits from my instructor and classmates to prove I was 4 miles away from the expired parking meter.

I'll let you know how it turns out, unless I get arrested for an outstanding parking ticket. I think I need to go take some alka-seltzer to settle my churning stomach.

Twist

Twist's 6 Word Memoir

2008-05-18T13:33:00.001-07:00

Nearly published author is satisfied dad.

Page 161 Tag

2008-05-11T13:55:00.000-07:00

I'm not much for blog tags. Partly because I only go to the blogs I link to. I'm reading a several books right now. # 3 in the Anne Rice vampire series is Queen of the Damned, but I couldn't find a very interesting quote on that page.

I am reading the Old Testament in Spanish, so here goes:

Números 23:24

He aquí el pueblo que como león se levantará,
Y como león se erguirá;
No se echará hasta que devore la presa,
Y beba la sangre de los muertos.

That last line almost sounds like a line out of the vampire book

Nos veremos más adelante,

Twist

Missed it by That Much

2008-05-06T19:18:00.000-07:00

We had a little excitement tonight. My part of the country doesn't get much rain, but when we do, nature puts on quite a show. The lightning, rain and clouds are usually visible from miles away. I have seen some storms through the years that have stayed in my memory to this day. Today's storm may not stay with me for years, but it was exciting while it happened.

The line of storms was heading straight for us. We faithfully watched the television meteorologist with his doppler, super enhanced, colorized radar as it showed the heart of one storm heading straight for our house. The tv station also happens to be about 4 blocks south of our house. The rain started first and was impressive for our area, but then the newsman said they were starting to get golf ball sized hail at the station. I didn't see any hail out the back door, but as I opened it, I could hear random hits of hail around the neighborhood. As the staccato beat picked up considerably as marble sized hail started falling, much to my wife's dismay. Her roses and flowers don't fare well under such treatment.

We considered how to best shield the cars parked outside. Some friends visiting made a run for their car and took off to try and beat the large hail to a garage. We thought about parking my daughter's car on the porch, but about that time the hail tapered off and went away.

In a nutshell, the golf ball sized hail dropped about 3-4 blocks from my house. They say a miss by an inch is a good as a mile.

I'll take the mile every day.

Twist

If You Haven't Got Your Health...

2008-05-03T18:32:00.000-07:00

I went to the doctor a week ago to get my blood lab work done. It has to be done once a year to get the doctor to renew my prescriptions. I had hoped to get in and out without needing to wait for the doctor or even paying a co-pay. Sometimes they do that when you are only doing blood work. The doctor had other plans. Since he hadn't really done my yearly exam he took his time. He poked and prodded places that don't take kindly to it. I thought I'd get away after that with no harm done, unfortunately, he took a look at my blood pressure. It was high. I knew it was. I knew it had been, but it's like extra weight. You keep thinking you will cut out the salt, get some exercise and it will go back to normal. He put me on a low dose of high blood pressure medicine. Like my cholesterol medicine, I can't complain about the results though. My lab work came back with great levels on nearly everything. How do you feel, he said. I'm great. Unfortunately, twelve hours later, a sore throat and a cough hit with a vengeance. If it had been earlier, I'd have said I have a cough and sore throat and he'd have given me prescriptions to deal with it. I paid him $30 for a doctor visit and was too cheap to go back and pay it again. A week later, my cough is nearly gone. Oh, well. My prescriptions have been renewed and my blood pressure is down.

I'm feeling much better now.

Twist

Amber Alert

2008-04-11T16:42:00.001-07:00

I saw this Amber Alert and unlike many I see, I thought I needed to pass this one along. Amberlillies on Blogspot has disappeared. One of my favorite people, with I might say, perfect hands, even after trajedy, has lost posting on the web. If you see her anywhere, please let her know her web family misses her.

Twist.